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May 29, 2021

Overcoming Anxiety & Living an Authentic Life without Regret.

Stepping into the world of entrepreneurship was one scary experience, especially because I was filled with anxiety.

I didn’t know what was going to happen, but I persevered because a dream without action is just a fantasy. I did not want to live in a fantasy—I wanted to live my dreams.

Here we go, I said to myself at the age of 31. Stop thinking, stop being your worst critic, and get out of your own head. Jump right into your dreams because you are worth it, I kept telling myself.

Why can’t I have the things that I wanted? I wondered. For just once, I wanted to know what it felt like to be selfish.

Starting at a young age, I was timid. Unaware of where this stemmed from for most of my life, I began to think it was the negative mindset of not thinking that I was good enough.

Peers put me down constantly, and it really did some damage. Most people do not see how words hurt others, and how impacting they can be on someone’s life. When hearing hurtful words from people for years, you start to think they are true.

Our brain can be trained to think that way, and eventually our actions and thoughts can be built on what others think of us.

Imagine living your life based on what others perceive you as, and not living how you were meant to be. Others painted my life, and I did not even know it. I was painted as a shy, scared, easily intimidated person.

As I went through the motions of life, I was confused why I felt this way. I wondered:

Why can’t I share my emotions with others?

Why am I so afraid to show love or care for another?

Why can’t I be myself?

Why am I so concerned about what others think of me?

Why am I so anxious?

Why am I so nervous?

Why am I so embarrassed about myself?

So many fears were embedded in my brain, and simply because I had consumed others’ opinions of me.

Living in fear of what others think is not living at all.

At the age of 30, I thought to myself while cooking over a hot stove, I am tired of living like this. I am a strong woman, and I need to act like one. It’s time to make a change in the right direction. I cannot live another year like this, stuck in the mindset of believing that I can’t do anything amazing.

I didn’t want the common life that everyone else had—I wanted something different. Something special, just for me, where I spent time making life sensational and memorable.

I wanted to have a life that I could remember, when I am old and all wrinkled while sipping tea on my old creaky porch, rocking back and forth on my wooden chair. I wanted to smile and be content with the life I had lived without regret. Regret of the things I wished I had done, the chances I had to better my life.

There have been so many opportunities I had let go of because I was too afraid to take the risk and chance that I would feel embarrassed.

As I sit here today, I feel silly because I can see now that I had a scared mindset.

I actually had no idea what the outcome was going to be, but I created it in my mind before it happened.

If I tell myself I cannot run a mile without stopping, then simply I will not. If I tell myself I will try my hardest to run this mile and see what happens, then I will run my hardest and strive to hit my goal. If I don’t, I will try again next time. This mindset is so important and took me quite a long time to figure out.

About 10 years ago, I knew that our inner attitude contributes to our life. I would tell myself, I am going to do this instead of I can’t do this, and that changed so many things for me.

 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” ~ Proverbs 18:21. 

Speak to your soul.

Inspire your mind to do great things.

Tell yourself you will succeed.

Tell yourself you are good enough.

“So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.” ~ Isaiah 55:11. 

I had forgotten this verse some time ago and how powerful words really are.

A little voice in my head always said, You really shouldn’t say that because you will make it a reality, but sometimes I ignored it.

When I slipped back into that mindset, the negative thoughts took over again, and my life was painted by my words I told myself. I sunk into depression once again; my thoughts consumed me.

Day after day, I woke after hours of laying in my warm bed not wanting to get out. I didn’t want to face the day. I didn’t want to try anymore. What is the point if the same thing will happen today as it did yesterday? I thought. I was not motivated to live or make a change. I had the power to change my life and, I could either stay stuck or make a move.

I chose to move, and it’s changed my life. Don’t sit and wait for change, make it happen. When my mentor said, “If it’s meant to be, it’s up to me,” it hit me hard.

Our value does not decrease because of someone’s inability to see our worth. 

Overcoming anxiety wasn’t easy, and sometimes I asked myself, How did I get through it?

I got through it because I wanted to. I didn’t want to live that way anymore, and I was passionate about the outcome. I wanted to make a change.

Some may think the world of entrepreneurship isn’t for the faint of heart, and that’s true—you need thick skin for sure.

I do believe if you want something bad enough, you will do what it takes.

And that’s what I’ve done: I’ve done the work and made my dreams become a reality.

Today is your day, take the bull by the horns and go for the ride.

 

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