7.2
May 11, 2021

In Losing Everything, I Found Myself.

 

Moving forward after going through something traumatic is one of the hardest things we will ever have to do.

When something comes along and shakes up our world, breaks our heart, changes our body, and strips away everything we once knew, we are changed forever.

And it does not matter if we’re an expert in our field, a CEO of a company, or make just enough money to pay the bills—our traumatic experiences have the ability to paralyze us from putting one foot in front of the other.

The only other thing that makes things worse is the guilt and shame we feel by staying in the same place for so long.

Do we fear moving forward, or do we fear the past repeating itself?

When my world was flipped upside down, I asked myself these questions every day.

Because…

I didn’t know who I was without my career.
I didn’t know who I was without this person I planned on building my life with.
I didn’t know how I could navigate life with these newfound deficits.

Some days, I would spiral into a state of panic, trying to figure everything out. Other days, I would stay in bed and shut the world out.

“Can somebody just tell me what to do?”
“Why is this happening to me?”
“I miss the way things were before.”

And it wasn’t until I got so sick of feeling sorry for myself that things started to change. In that subtle readiness, I came across a quote that read:

“Life is not happening to you, it is happening for you.”

Instead of calling my mom that day to talk me out of a panic attack, I closed my eyes and I started to pray.

I said to God,

“If you guide me toward my next step, I will dedicate my entire life to helping others do the same.”

I woke up the next day, and I prayed again. I also meditated for the very first time. I pulled out my old journal, and I started to list things I was grateful for. I went outside, and I listened to the birds sing. I took a deep breath of fresh air, and I completely surrendered my life.

I have spoken to God every day since.

And from this surrendered space, I was led to a counselor who helped me manage my emotions. I found healing modalities to help me work through what I didn’t know was post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I started shifting my patterns, habits, and beliefs that I held onto for so long.

I quieted my mind so my soul could speak.

I didn’t know it at the time, but these things were breathing life into me once again.

I looked around, and everything was different, and I was finally okay with that.

And from this place of subtle acceptance, I was able to put one foot in front of the other and start again.

I went back to my dream career after resisting it for so long.
I met the absolute love of my life.
I lost 60 lbs.
I developed a lifestyle based on stillness, mindfulness, growth, and self-reflection.

I realized that in the process of losing everything, I found myself. And no matter what happens in life, nothing can ever take that away from me.

I have become a victor instead of a victim, and I know you can too.

“Life is happening for you, not to you.”

~

 

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Meagan Doumont  |  Contribution: 1,540

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