Being in a relationship has somehow become like a badge of honor these days.
You’re special and cool if you are in one, and not so much if you’re single? Even though this sounds absurd, this is true, unfortunately. And if you’re over 25 and single, then people look at you as if you have four heads on your shoulders.
But being single is nothing to be ashamed of because your relationship status doesn’t define you or who you are. Just like being in a relationship can make you happy, being single can make you feel happy and safe too.
Love is not something that can be forced or rushed; when it has to happen, it will happen. And you know what? Being single can teach you a lot about love and life, but only if you’re willing to listen.
Here are 22 important lessons I learned from being single:
1. You can never force someone to love you, or even like you. If someone genuinely likes you, you will never have to wonder about their true feelings or work extremely hard to win them over.
2. Only one person can make you feel happy and complete, and that’s you. If you don’t love yourself and try to find happiness in other people, you’ll always end up being disappointed and unhappy (no matter how amazing they might be).
3. Being single and having the independence to do whatever you want to do is a blessing and also a privilege. It’s not that being in relationships is a bad or scary thing, but when you’re single, you are not answerable and accountable to anyone else but yourself, for your actions and decisions.
4. Being alone is not synonymous with being lonely. Also, being alone doesn’t mean you’re sad, depressed, or difficult to love. Rather, it means that you’re secure enough to be by yourself and don’t always feel the need to have someone by your side.
5. Trying to change yourself and compromising with your individuality to make someone else like you are not the way to go. It’s better to be single than be with someone who doesn’t accept the real you.
6. Having boundaries is crucial to being happy. So, make sure you have certain boundaries, which no one should have the power to cross.
7. It’s always better to be transparent and ask than keep on wondering what might be. Even if the answer is not what you expected, at least you won’t be in the dark anymore, nor would you be under any kind of misconception.
8. If you let someone humiliate and disrespect you in the name of love, then you’re giving them the license to do it over and over again. Know your worth and never let anybody treat you like garbage, no matter how much you might love them. Always remember that your dignity comes first.
9. When you choose to forgive someone, you’re not doing it for them, and you’re not doing them a favor. You’re doing it for yourself and your peace of mind. The more you hold on to pain and anger, the more bitter and unhappy you’ll be. So, even if you’ve not gotten the apology you deserve, forgive them and let them go. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that what they did was okay; it simply means that you don’t want to stay in the past anymore, and would rather focus on the present and future.
10. As Robin Scherbatsky famously said, “You got chemistry; you only need one other thing: timing. But timing is a b*tch.” It’s true. Timing is everything, and if you don’t have that on your side, you’re doomed. Sometimes, loving each other is not enough, and even though this is a hard lesson to learn, it’s an important one. If the timing is not right, no matter how hard you try to make it work, it just won’t.
11. Communication is everything when it comes to having a happy relationship, and without open and honest communication, your relationship can never survive. It is one of the most crucial pillars to have if you want to build a strong and stable relationship.
12. Don’t let anybody insult you or mock you for being single and get away with it; it’s your life and it’s your choice to not be in a relationship, be married, or not want to marry at all. Nobody else has the right to comment on your personal life or make judgments about it.
13. Your partner’s actions and words should always align, and if they don’t, then you’re with the wrong person. No matter how much they promise you that they will change or they will stop doing something that hurts you, if they don’t put their money where their mouth is, it’s all for nothing. Be with someone who will keep their promises.
14. Being single or dating yourself is not a bad thing as people make it out to be. Being in a relationship is not the be-all and end-all of life, and it’s perfectly okay if you choose to wait for the right person to come along, rather than be in superficial relationships that never work out in the long run.
15. Know your principles, morals, and values so that nobody has the power to impose theirs on you. Know what makes you you, and be strong enough to never let anybody manipulate you into doing their bidding in the name of love.
16. Relationships don’t always end because of infidelity; they can also end because both of you simply grew apart from each other. And you know what? That’s okay. When one chapter ends, another one begins.
17. Being vulnerable doesn’t mean you’re weak. On the contrary, it shows how strong you really are. When you have the ability to open up your heart and let someone in, it shows your courage, and you should never be ashamed about it.
18. Heartbreak is an inevitable part of love and life, and no matter how hard you try to avoid it, you will have to face it at some point or another.
19. Never sacrifice your self-esteem and dignity for someone else, and most of all, never ever lower your standards just so you can make someone else’s ego happy. You deserve better than that because your dignity is everything to you.
20. Settling with someone because you’re afraid that you’ll end up alone is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. Loneliness should never push you to get married to someone you don’t love; if you get married, it should only be to the person you love with all your heart and they should feel the same for you too.
21. Be yourself, and the right person will come along when you will least expect it; love happens when you are not looking for it. The right person will love you for who you are and will accept you with all your virtues and flaws. So, wait for the right one, and you’ll see what real happiness feels like.
22. No matter how much you love someone, you can’t change them, unless they want to change. You can’t fix their problems unless they are willing to fix them. And the more you invest your energy into doing something that is never going to happen, the more you will lose yourself. So, let it be and let them be. If they love you, they will work on themselves and the relationship, and if they don’t, then it’s better to go your separate ways.
Being single is not a curse, nor is it an unfortunate thing, as it’s made out to be by most people these days. Singlehood can make you happy too, and if you feel happy and secure when you’re single, you’ll feel happy and secure when you’re in a relationship.
So celebrate yourself and make the most of your life!