February 20, 2022

Confidence is the New Sexy—& Here is How to Claim It.

Wisdom doesn’t automatically come with old age; nothing does, except wrinkles.

And as I mature, I compare myself to a red fine wine: full-bodied—a lady with curves, confidence, and beauty. Not to everyone’s taste, but those who get a taste of her, usually love her.

Confidence is sexy.

Be humble, be down-to-earth, but know who you are. Confidence doesn’t have to scream: big ego! It simply says: “I know who I am, I know what I want, and I won’t settle for less.”

Attract, don’t chase.

We’ve all heard the saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and like a flower the right bee will find their way to the perfect flower. Some wasps may try their luck, and sometimes we’ll get a little prick before they’re swatted away, but you can’t blame them for trying. Especially when your light shines bright; naturally, everyone will be curious to explore the beauty and its source. So, having boundaries is important.

We energetically attract those who have everything we have, and sometimes we attract people who seek within us what they lack. They see the magic, and potential, and convince themselves being with us will fill the void they’re feeling, but no one can heal and understand the emptiness they feel better than themselves.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

Life has a way of surprising us when we live it without expectations. Making new friendships and having the courage to speak to someone new, without taking ourselves too seriously, is life’s way of showing us what’s important, and what we truly desire. Others may be attracted to our energy just the same as we will be attracted to theirs, but where we are energetically and the experiences and lessons within that connection will show us if we’ve settled for less, or if we’re worthy of more.

Sadly, I’ve learned that we allow others to treat us in the same way as we are willing to treat ourselves, or worse, punish ourselves where we will accept disrespect and abuse. Therefore, to look in a mirror and say “you’re ugly” is a form of self-abuse. If we were to say out loud to loved ones what we believe is acceptable to say to ourselves, we would have no friends, or loved ones to speak of.

Take note on who contributes to your life in a positive way and who takes away from it, making you feel depleted.

Our time and energy are precious to us. It’s not because we share our time, but because we share a part of our life.

I’ve come to be grateful for every human being who spends time and energy with me, may it be a phone call, a visit, or a kind word. I’ve learned that when we don’t get what we want, we will accept attention in any shape or form, even if it means fighting with a loved one. But a bad word, or a punch thrown, will only push them away—and no, I don’t condone violence or approve of punches being thrown, although that would distance them too.

This brings me to my next point. Meet someone where they are at and enjoy their company rather than fight with them. How much time do we waste holding a grudge, being upset, or fighting with someone when we would rather want to spend time loving them?

But, never force a connection.

If someone wants to be in your life, they will be. If there’s friction, ask the right questions instead of assuming what the problem is, which in turn will result in miscommunication, disagreements, and more arguments.

It’s all a balance, and it’s through trial and error we get to know who we are.

You’ve graduated with honours when you can answer the most important question about yourself: “Who are you?”


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