There are a lot of opinions out there about what makes a relationship meaningful.
Even more thoughts on how to make your relationship last.
While there’s some good advice out there, I am taking a stand today and sharing the single most crucial aspect of a meaningful partnership.
Throughout my dating journey, and now into my marriage, I have realized that it really comes down to this one thing. My husband and I have been through a lot in four years, but one thing never changes: the love we have for each other.
For so long, I asked the Universe how I got so lucky to find him. How my relationship gets better every single day. How no matter what happens in life, we love each other deeply. And after some soul searching, I realized it wasn’t luck at all. It was intentional action on my part and practices I continue to follow to this day.
This is the exact thing that inspired me to open a coaching business and lead other women to the same type of love I found. I want other women to thrive in their relationship. Because when women are in love with life, themselves, and their partner, the world is a better place for all.
So what is this all-important indicator to a successful and long-lasting relationship?
The freedom to be your true self is what will make your relationship last.
The freedom to be your authentic and imperfect self. Freedom to be vulnerable without any strings attached. Being your true self means that you can share your hopes and dreams openly with your partner. It means that you can be honest and build real communication.
Being yourself also means that you can accept the deep love you desire and can give it back to your partner without expectations. It really all comes down to this—because if you can’t be yourself, you’ll burn out from exhaustion at some point. Your relationship will reach a breaking point because hiding your self away is too much to keep up.
This is the exact reason I built my coaching program the way I did. Seventy-five percent of my program focuses on relationship to self and building confidence before love comes into my clients’ lives.
Below are the four reasons why being yourself is so important when it comes to love and relationships. If you’re single, start by identifying ways you can be more you in life. If you’re in a relationship, read the four points below and be honest about your ability to feel safe with your partner.
Four Reasons Why Being Yourself is Crucial in Love and Relationships:
1. You’re safe to be vulnerable.
Long-lasting and meaningful relationships all have the same thing in common, each person feels safe to be vulnerable. Being vulnerable is so important in relationships because without it, you lack honesty and truth. Oftentimes, people steer clear of vulnerability because there is a chance of rejection. Sure, that may happen when you open your heart. But what if it went the other way? What if you opened your heart and you received the love you desire? What if you were vulnerable and you were able to fully trust yourself and your partner? That right there is how you build love and connection.
When I take clients through my signature program, we spend the first eight sessions focused on their own path and journey. We find ways that they can be vulnerable with themselves and build self-love. We create a daily ritual that allows them to feel safe and build permanent confidence. Because when you can be yourself fully, you can be vulnerable without any fears attached. And that right there is what will lead you to that soul-mate-level love.
2. You can go after your dreams.
One of my absolute favorite traits in my husband is that he is my biggest supporter and encourager. He listens to all my biggest dreams and helps me think of ways to make them happen. Whenever I have wanted to invest in myself and go after what I want, he doesn’t even hesitate to make sure I follow through on it. It’s been an amazing part of our relationship, but we wouldn’t have gotten to this point if I didn’t believe in myself first.
For so long, I hid who I really was and what my dreams were. I wanted to be a coach and a writer but hid it for years because I feared what people would think. That’s why I would end up dating the wrong people and was exhausted from hiding away the real me. Before I met him, I made a vow to myself that I would be me no matter what. That the right man would love all sides of me and that I had a lot to offer. When we started dating, I knew this was different because I felt safe to fully be me. I shared my dreams with excitement and admitted my fears. He met and fell in love with the real me from day one.
3. Your relationship will energize your soul, not drain it.
So we all know those couples, the ones that seem to thrive on drama. The ones that have a new fight every day and tell everyone else about it. The couple that fights at the dinner table during an evening out. While some people may thrive that way, this is not what makes for a meaningful relationship. I don’t know about you, but fighting every day sounds exhausting and not something I want to be around!
This is another reason why being yourself in a relationship is so important—because at the core, we all want love. No one is naturally someone who loves to fight. If someone truly thrives in conflict, then they are avoiding a part of themselves and therefore not being fully themselves. Deep down, they probably fear that without the drama, there’d be no relationship. So please, do yourself a favor and start living as the real you, and you’ll soon start to see if your relationship is meant to be.
4. You can create permanent confidence that stays with you forever.
One of the main things I work on with clients is this idea of permanent confidence. The kind of confidence that comes from being yourself. The kind of confidence that does not disappear when something doesn’t go your way. Sounds great, right?
Unfortunately, everything we have been taught about confidence is wrong. We were told that in order to be confident you had to look or dress a certain way. That you had to make a certain amount of money and drive a fancy car. Or that you had to be popular and have a ton of friends. The problem with that type of confidence is that it disappears the second you lose the thing your confidence was based on.
Instead, I like to focus on a confidence that comes from a deeper place. One that is built on self-acceptance and love. A confidence that comes from knowing what you have to offer the world and what your gifts are. A confidence that comes from knowing the parts of yourself that you don’t like, and choosing to be happy anyway. This is the confidence you can create when you are free to be yourself.
So there you have it, the four reasons why being yourself is the most important quality of a long-lasting relationship. When you are free to be you, your relationship will grow and thrive in ways you never thought possible.
And if you’re dating someone new or wondering where your relationship is headed, ask yourself how free you are to be you. If you’re confused about if you are even being yourself, well I think you already answered the question.
Be your true self because life is too short not to, and there are already enough copies in the world. Find yourself and find your power.
The love you crave will no doubt come into your life.