July 1, 2022

F*ck Modern Dating—Bring Back the Romance.


I wanted romance ever since I had laid eyes on it.

Growing up, the world showed me romance as red roses, love letters, and romantic dates with candlelight and soft music. My head was filled with what romance should look like from movies and adults around me.

I fell in love with romance. I couldn’t wait until I was old enough to date so I could find that type of romance. Romance was what happened when we worked toward love. To find our way to love.

I was too young to date, but I knew I wanted romance when it was time.

I was 12 when I had my very first date. It was everything I imagined it would be. It was romantic, as much as it could be for our age. He came to my house and picked me up via his mother. He took me roller skating where we held hands and circled the rink over and over again to songs by Madonna, Prince, and Michael Jackson. We had lunch at a local diner which he paid for. The date ended with a kiss on the cheek when he walked me to my door.


I was on my way to a life filled with romance.

Romance was alive back then.

The older I became and the more I dated, the more the world was changing around me. Modern dating became a thing, and dating became casual.

Dating consisted of hanging out. As modern dating took shape, standards began to drop on what romance should look like. Standards dropped on what we were willing to accept when it came to dating and love.

No more flowers, no more love letters, and no more romantic dates. It became so casual that men stopped asking women out all together. In my 20s, the closest thing to a date was someone asking me to swing by the bar he was at with his friends. I had no choice but to meet up with a potential love interest at that bar. I did it so much that I’d feel lucky if he sat next to me.

Romance became non-existent.

Expectations became low so I wouldn’t have to be disappointed. I had to stay realistic if I wanted to meet someone. I didn’t want to appear needy or demanding. I started accepting the bare minimum as enough.

If he had a job, he was responsible. If he had a house, he was mature.

I should have held out for so much more.

Sending one text per day is not romance.

Asking to hang out at a bar while he is out with his friends is not romance.

Giving the bare minimum is not romance.

Romance doesn’t need to be what it used to be. I don’t need fancy dinner dates. I don’t need tickets to a show. I don’t even need him to buy me anything to show me romance. Romance is a feeling. It brings excitement to our time together. It is a mystery associated with love.

Romance brings two people closer. Romance forms a connection between two people.

It takes the relationship to the next level. It is the fuel to keep things moving in the same direction. It is the excitement, joy, fire, and spice to keep things alive.

I’m not afraid to say what I want. I want romance. Without romance, it feels dull and meaningless.

Romance doesn’t need to be hard work. You don’t need to be a romantic person to have romance. Romance can be easy and fun.

Start and end each day with a good morning and a goodnight. This lets them know you are thinking of them. That is what romance is all about. Letting the other person know you want them in your life.

Compliments go a long way. And you don’t need to go overboard. It’s as easy as saying “you look good tonight” when you first see her.

Sending “just thinking of you” text during your busy work day. We are all super busy. It doesn’t need to be throughout the entire day. Nor does it need to lead into a huge conversation. Just one text in the middle of your busy day to let them know they crossed your mind.

Write a message on a sticky note and place it on the bathroom mirror before you leave. Tell her she is beautiful. Tell her you can’t wait to see her again. Or tell her you already miss her.

Hold hands whenever you are together. It shows affection, comfort, and closeness. It shows her you want every piece of her.

Romance is as easy as looking at the stars together, going on a long drive, having a picnic or trying new things together.

Romance can also be bringing soup if she is sick, a surprise coffee delivery at the office, or making a Spotify playlist of songs you listen to when you are together.

Romance is letting the other person know you want them in your life.

I deserve romance. We all deserve romance.

Romance is not just for her benefit. When a woman gets the romance she deserves, a man gets the best parts of her.

More sex. Yes, more sex. The more romance within the relationship, the more sexy time within the relationship. Romance makes her feel connected to him.

The more connected, the more intimate.

More freedom.

The happier she is, the more time he’ll get to spend time playing golf or fishing with his friends. Romance makes her feel secure within the relationship. The more security, the more she‘ll encourage him to spend time with his friends.

Total and complete devotion. There is nothing better than a woman who is completely and utterly devoted to the relationship. Doesn’t every man want that?

I don’t need red roses, or love letters, or even romantic dates.

I want someone who can make me laugh so hard that it hurts. I want someone who makes my heart skip a beat. I want someone to hold my hand when we walk down the street. I want someone who brings a smile to my face. I want someone to sit and talk to me for hours about my hopes and dreams. I want someone who makes me feel alive.

That is romance.

Romance is showing up for me. It’s connecting with me. It’s getting to know me. It’s letting me into your world. Romance is spending time with me.

I’ve accepted less than I deserve for a long time. Not this time. Not anymore.

Let’s hold out for romance. Let’s demand romance. No more lowering our standards to fit into someone else’s world.

F*ck modern dating.

Let’s bring romance back so we can work toward love. To find our way to love.

Dear men, we want romance. We need romance. We expect romance. We deserve romance.


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