Let’s face it, modern dating can feel exhausting, frustrating, and hopeless.
With the plethora of dating apps and ghosting culture, it can feel like dating is a dead-end road. I felt that way for many years when I was looking for love.
Combining these dating obstacles with being a highly sensitive woman can make the journey feel even more difficult. There were many times I wanted to throw in the towel because I couldn’t handle any more disappointment. I couldn’t muster up the energy to keep putting myself out there.
Before I realized I was a highly sensitive woman, I was trying to approach the dating journey all wrong. I was not setting boundaries and would say yes to second dates, even if I didn’t really want to go on them. I was trying to go on as many dates as possible, in hopes of meeting my person—even though I was downright exhausted. This made me resent everything about dating.
Not only was the process of swiping and going on dates exhausting, I wasn’t being true to myself on the actual dates. I was trying to morph myself into this personality that I thought every guy would be attracted to. I wanted to be the fun, extroverted party girl, even though that wasn’t reflective of who I am. I thought I had to be someone else besides my sensitive, caring, and deep-thinking self.
Unfortunately, I see too many women doing the same thing nowadays. Women are dimming their light and hiding their true selves in hopes of attracting a partner. Some women just forego dating altogether because they don’t have any hope that they can meet a quality partner. While, of course, it’s okay if women want to be alone, I don’t want any woman to give up on love that truly wants it.
After going on literally 100 dates, I realized I had to change something if I wanted to be successful. Instead of looking for validation from men or ignoring my needs, I had to turn inward and first realize why I even wanted love.
If I wanted to let a romantic partner see the real me, I had to get to know myself on a deep level for the first time in my life.
This was especially important after I learned that I was highly sensitive. I realized that I didn’t have the same energy as most people and I felt emotions more intensely. I had an incredible gift of compassion and love, but I had to establish boundaries in my life in order to tap into this magic. I realized that if I wanted to find true love, I couldn’t be afraid of letting the world see my magical self.
Once I did that, my entire dating experience changed. I made sure to honor my energy and practice self-care in order to be the best version of myself. I said no to second dates when I knew it wouldn’t go anywhere. I started looking for quality dates over quantity. And most importantly, I held the belief that an amazing man was out there for me and would love all parts of me.
After about a year of doing the inner work and growing my confidence, my soul mate walked into my life. He was everything I wanted and so much more. But if I had met him a year earlier when I was approaching dating all wrong, I don’t think we would have ended up together. This confirmed that the work I did was necessary to welcome true love into my life.
Now it is my mission to help other women call authentic love and confidence into their life—to realize that the high quality partner they are desiring is out there. I want every woman to realize that their relationship with themselves is the most important thing they can honor in their life.
When women unapologetically love and accept themselves, their entire world will open up. When women realize the gifts they have to offer when they are living in alignment with their souls, anything they desire is possible for them.
So here are the five things I did to completely change my dating journey and call true love into my life. If you do these five things and know that soul mate love is possible, you will meet your person in no time. And whether you are highly sensitive or not, these tips will up-level your dating journey to one that is exciting, hopeful, and successful.
Five Dating Tips for Highly Sensitive Women
1. Identify your values. Before you go on your next date, you need to first identify your values. What is important to you in life? What are your goals and dreams? What are your nonnegotiable things that are a definite no in a romantic partner? What core values are you desiring in your partner? These are all questions you should get clear on yourself before dating.
This way it will be much easier to identify if a date is a good match for you or not. Of course, it may take a couple of dates to get to know someone, and that’s okay. Knowing what you value will give you the confidence to say no to someone who isn’t a match for you. This way you leave room for a better match to show up.
2. Create a pre-date ritual. As a highly sensitive woman, I know it’s easy to get nervous before a date. Your mind is running in circles wondering if your outfit is okay or if your date will like you. All these nerves will leave you feeling stressed and not your best self. It robs you of really being in the moment and getting to know your date.
That’s why I always suggest a pre-date ritual to calm your nerves and get your mind clear. I recommend things like journaling (reflect on your values!), meditation, a walk to clear your head, listening to your favorite music, saying affirmations, and so on. Be sure to include whatever makes you feel your absolute best.
3. Detach yourself from the outcome. A huge part of why we get stressed with dating is because we attach expectations to it. Do you ever go on a date expecting it to be perfect and that this person is your soul mate? Don’t worry, I’ve been there! Unrealistic expectations distract you from really getting to know your date. Instead of putting pressure on yourself and the date, try reframing the experience to help ease your mind.
Start seeing dates as an experiment, a way to get to know people, and a way to increase your confidence. Then decide that you will let life unfold as it will. You do not have to control the outcome; just show up as your loving self.
4. Lean into vulnerability. One of the key aspects of finding your person is how vulnerable you are willing to get. I see way too many women trying to dim their light, hide their personalities, and mold themselves into someone else’s dream. This will never lead you to your soul mate. You must be willing to show up as who you really are.
As a highly sensitive woman, you have so much love and support to provide to someone. Why not show it? Any date would be lucky to witness the magic you have to offer. On a date, be yourself, have fun, lean into vulnerability, and watch better matches show up.
5. Keep the faith. Dating can feel like a never-ending cycle that leads to nowhere; I know I thought that for years. It wasn’t until I turned inward and practiced all these tips that I eventually met my soul mate. The number one thing that kept me going was that I never lost faith. Even after countless failed dates, I still knew that my person was out there.
I knew I had so many amazing qualities to offer to someone. I practiced patience and trust like never before and my person appeared one day out of the blue. Trust me, I know someone is out there for you.
The more you are willing to be yourself and voice what you want, the faster it will happen for you.