“Whether it’s science or magic, if it’s of fun benefit, enjoy!” ~ ed
We are nearing the end of yet another year and whole astrological cycle around the sun.
It’s hard to believe even just a year ago how different things were in our personal and collective lives.
This year was all about change and getting ready for change. Shifting timelines and getting us onto newer, higher trajectories and paths. Freeing our energy up and giving us the choice to step into a whole new reality—if we are doing the conscious work, of course.
It hasn’t been easy. It hasn’t been without confusion, self-doubt, and challenge. Yet, we have been built from each life challenge and curveball, a fortitude of character, more and more unshakeable self-trust growing within us. This year in a word and energy: self-trust.
No matter what has transpired in our lives, can we trust ourselves and our unfolding paths even more? That has been the question marinating in the minds and hearts of all of us, whether we know it to be true or not. And, still, the mind wanders to past and future as it does, wondering and ruminating over where we’ve been, the losses we’ve endured, and the uncertainty of where we are heading. Another year down. Another year of transformation. The energies ask so much of us these days and it hasn’t really let up since 2020.
The past has been circling us like a hawk these days if we haven’t been tending to what needs to be released. It can feel like we are being hunted down by our fears, chased by a ferocious predator, a nameless fear. Pushed to the brink of collapse and giving up. Pushed deeply onto the path of surrender. Surrendering our ego pains and stories about ourselves. The attachments we have to who we think we are and who we think we need to be in order to be loved and to belong. It can feel utterly terrifying to deconstruct these false illusions and faulty pillars that we have built our sense of self around for eons.
We have been moving through our last Mercury retrograde of the year, finishing out Jupiter and Chiron retrogrades. Mercury retrograde in Capricorn and Sagittarius has brought some challenges to our lives around the noted things here: technology, travel, and communication. It has brought up energies of the past, pushing us to look back into the past and see where we are holding on and having a hard time letting go of people, places, identities, and things. People of the past have popped back up to ask us if we are truly ready to let the energy of the old go and elevate to a newer found sense of self-worth and what we truly deserve. The past can tempt us though, in its illusory sense of temporary comfort and safety. It’s a safer feeling to experience something we know than a whole new unknown. But we must keep letting go. And moving forward.
We have the deep, year-end purging and cleansing full moon in the watery sign of Cancer on December 26 at 7:32 p.m. EST. Landing at 5 degrees of the cardinal sign, and the moon feeling at home in its ruling sign here, we are being initiated into yet another doorway back into the past so we can truly let go even more of what’s been ruling and running us.
Cancer energy is the energy of family, our roots, our traditions, the past, ancestral ties that bind us. Cancer is intuitive, empathetic, compassionate, and motherly love energy, in its highest. In the lower octaves, it is clingy, needy, insecure, overwhelmed, ruled by emotions, and has the tendency to hide away from the world out of intensely felt sensitivity. The journey for Cancers is finding strength in their ability to feel so deeply and use their emotions rather than be used by them. Cancers love with their whole hearts and are loyal to a fault. They can struggle to set boundaries with others and feel others’ pain as if it were their own.
This energy is within us all. The Cancer full moon is a portal back to home. Around the holidays, most of us are tending to our families and homes. And being of the past, Cancer energy can bring up old wounds, traumas, and triggers around our born in family unit. Inner child wounds may be ripe and real feeling this season.
As with all full moons, we have the sun opposing in its opposite sign of Capricorn. We have moved through Sagittarius season, which was a welcomed zest of vitality back into our lives. Capricorn season is sturdier. More stable energy to get us focused on foundations we are building. To look at where we need to put the work in to build more stable foundations in our lives. To take responsibility for ourselves and our energy. Capricorn energy is the father. Ruled by Saturn, he asks us to level up. Take the journey of self-growth and self-evolution you know you need to take to become the wise elder within you. Wisdom is available to us as deeply as we are willing to face what isn’t comfortable and do the hard thing in order to grow and evolve.
We may be having deep childhood energies coming up around this time, and yet with strong Cancer (mother) and Capricorn (father) energy, we now have the ability to hold those parts of self with the inner adult and see those parts from a more adult, wiser perspective. We may need to grieve the loss of having never received the thing we desperately needed as children, whether it was emotional safety and co-regulation from an absent parent, a lack of physical safety, or otherwise loss in needs being met.
Grieve it and feel it all the way through. Go to the waters, the shower, the bodies of water in nature that hold us. Ask them for their support to cleanse and free you. Let water be the sacred medicine and offering to your heart, courageous and brave in the face of so much discomfort. Because feeling our feelings isn’t always comfortable. And we are allowed to feel the resistance that comes up around that. To allow for the resistance to be there and not make it wrong either. Give space for resistance and watch how that frees things up even more and creates more safety and less conflict within.
The heart is the center of this full moon energy. Many of us have wounds and shards of memories rooted in pain around our heart space. This is the emotional heart. The heart we carry within us and takes on the imprints of others and learns how to give and receive love. This heart feels breakable and fragile. So very human. To feel the ache of not having received the love you needed to truly flourish in this lifetime is f*cking painful. No wonder many of us learned wise and brilliant ways to cut ourselves off from feeling that deep ache. But the way out is always through. Through the cobwebs around our heart, into the depth of feeling, by first creating safety in our being to feel what’s there.
And maybe safety is in being held by another and their presence to witness you. A lot of the time, these feelings were felt in deep isolation as children, in the absence of another person holding space of love for us. So it’s absolutely valid to need that presence of another. It does not make us needy or co-dependent or weak. It makes us human. And a human with such valid of needs. And needs worthy of being met.
Be so gentle with your human heart as you learn how to soften and feel again. And be so patient with yourself too. You’re unwinding years of conditioning against your own vulnerability. This full moon brings us deep into the feels and cords we have to the past, past versions of self most notably so. We have been evaluating patterns of the past and looking at ways to do things differently. To become who we needed as children, rather than the numbed over, disconnected version of self our parents might have been.
But we must be honest with ourselves first. How have these past versions of self served us? How have we now learned from the past versions of self? How have we grown in the last year, 5 years, 20 years?
Because we have absolutely grown. These past few months, we have been examining the ways in which we allow ourselves to grow and expand as Jupiter went retrograde and will station direct on December 30. Jupiter is the growth and expansion of our souls. Of the higher mind. Of our ability to choose to expand even in the face of our most deeply rooted and most primal fears. Jupiter wants us to have abundance, ease, and flow.
So how do we get there from a space and state of contraction and fear? Grace is the bridge and allowance of what is the key. To keep allowing ourselves to be as we are without making any part of ourselves or experience as wrong. To know that we are worthy of what we truly desire and want to create. To allow those messages to not just penetrate the mind but the heart.
We all hold within us the wise and powerful spiritual heart source. It’s the portal to God, to source, to love, to the omnipresent energy of connection to our true nature. It’s always there. Waiting for us. Waiting for us to connect to it. To feel the breeze in the air, the wind in our hair as the essence of this love, this life force. Can we hear it? Can we feel it? The spirits of this land call to us, straight to the heart. Do we dare drop out of the mind and into the heart to feel it? When we connect to this source, we may feel emotions over having missed and been disconnected yet again from this loving home. Honor that. Honor whatever comes up for you.
Home is where the heart is. And the heart is where God is. And we only come home back to that love as we surrender to what never needed to change within us. To understand we never needed to be different or more perfected to be worthy of feeling that love. All we needed to do was come home.
Our self-trust grows every day. Every day, we choose to allow. And to show up. To keep showing up.
This full moon is aspecting Saturn with a supportive trine. Stabilizing us. Asking us to keep surrendering to the higher, spiritual self and taking responsibility for our journey and ourselves. To ask ourselves if we want to keep repeating what’s known and karmic, or create something new.
This Cancer full moons ask us if we’ve been holding onto energies that aren’t even ours. Energy of our family units. And says to us, we can let it go now. That it was never our burden to carry. And to trust that others are responsible for their own energy and pain. To give that energy from others back to them in sacred service of their own soul. Freeing you up to align deeper with your soul.
On the same day of the full moon, Chiron (the wounded healer) will station direct, out of its six-month long retrograde journey. In Aries, we have been deeply navigating wounds around our sense of self and the physical bodies that hold us. We have become so aware of the wounds that bind us and found the courage to keep healing and becoming the truer self we came here to be. To trust who we are even more. The wounds have been deep and jarring. We have felt so mired in them and this journey of self-reclamation was not made for the faint of heart. Chiron energy will shift forward again and we are asked to reflect upon the healing choices and changes we’ve made.
The end of the year and this full moon is a potent time for self-reflection. To zoom out and see ourselves from that bird’s-eye-view lens. How have we changed? How we have grown? How have we deepened into our journey, ourselves, and our own wisdom?
This full moon could feel extra sensitive and carry some charge too. Mars in Sagittarius will be conjunct Mercury in Sagittarius. Watch your words and tend to your triggers. Use the power of your words to heal rather than fracture. Venus has been deep in the sign of Scorpio, our internal landscape changing and transforming. Gaining back lost power and becoming more empowered versions of self. Clearing others energy out and elevating our relationships.
Let this full moon do the work for you. Let the wisdom of Cancer remind you that you are already home. And this home within you is one of growing safety and self-trust. Let it remind you that your heart is a wise teacher and receiver of information. Let your feelings and sensitivities be held in sacred presence. Let the past be the teacher and then let it go. Reclaim past versions of self from the shadows of self-judgment and then lay their bones to rest—in service of the self you’ve been becoming.
Let the past remind you how to heal. That you’ve been healing all along. That there have been no mistakes, no wrong detours. That all was a part of the journey home. That the heart is our truest nature.
Let’s close out this year with a heart of reverence for our journeys as souls, for our human selves in service to our souls. Sacred Light You Are. Sacred Heart. Let. The. Sacred. Within. You. Guide. Your. Way. Home.
You might like this one too: The Divine Synchronicity & Meaning of The Full Moon in Cancer on December 26.