As a parent there are so many things that I’m told to be and do, but what I realized is it’s the simplest things that matter most.

We don’t overcome generational wounding with wealth, or with grand gestures, but by realizing so much earlier than I did that we are enough as well. And so for my beautiful girls, I hope you know that you have and will always be enough.

There is so much in this world that threatens your worth. That makes you question what you look like, or what you have to offer, but the reality is that you, just as you are, are enough. I wish that I could have changed the world for you. But alas, as I see photos and reels cross my social media feed, I’m realizing that I can’t. I will still try; after all, it’s not in our bones to give up. But what I realized is it isn’t about changing the world out there, but helping to change the voice in here. In your mind, your heart, and hopefully my voice won’t be something that you will have to heal from one one day.

To my daughters, you have always been enough.

The world will make you feel like you are in a constant state of catch up. That in order to be seen as worthy, you have to be on the latest trends, have the right clothes, and have your skin set in just the right ways. But I hope you remember the feel of the salt spray off the ocean and the way messy windblown hair makes you feel alive.

The world will pressure you to fit yourself into its standard of thinness. A patriarchal conformity of judging the worthiness of a woman by the size she takes up. But, girls, or should I say young women, please take up space. Be healthy, strong, and fulfilled. But don’t worry about being pretty, don’t worry about the size inside the waistband of your clothes, or whether you fit into those brands that only stock one size. Don’t be afraid to look how you’re comfortable instead of the way the world says that you should. Remember what it feels to be strong, to be healthy, and to feel satisfied by feeding your body and soul.

Don’t rush your process. Whether you know exactly what you want to do with your life or take a decade to figure out, it will always be right on time. Don’t judge yourself based on those beautiful graphics of college acceptances or social media announcements. You are not a commodity; you are not something to wager merely a preference. Whether you choose a path that would appeal to others or not is irrelevant. But what does matter is whether you care or not. Because you can either let the opinions of the world dictate your choices, or let your choices attract the life you create. And at the end of the day, it’s how you feel that matters most, not what anything looks like.

Since you were little, curled around me like kittens, I’ve always asked what will you do to make the world a better place, to make it a more beautiful one. While the truth is that just being you is changing the world in all the ways you need to, it doesn’t mean that your purpose doesn’t matter. Yet it’s not always found through spirituality or Caocao Ceremonies, but in the gentle way that you look at the world and see where you can make it better. Don’t underestimate the small moments, the way that you shift energy with your smile, or the effect of helping someone. You make the world a better place just by being in it, but that also means: don’t forget to be in it. Turn off the noise and the thoughts of what comes next, and let yourself be in the world knowing that you are enough. Let yourself be human and don’t forget that it’s how we treat those around us and the planet that truly makes the biggest difference.

Now my loves, when it comes to relationships, it’s crucial that you know you are already enough. That you know you deserve the sun, moon, and all the stars. You both have hearts as big as this beautiful universe and that means you will attract people who want to be warmed by your love but offer you none in return. It is the ultimate irony of the universe that those with the purest hearts often have to attract those who don’t. But you must know, you are enough. It doesn’t matter if you’re perfect or if you’ve made mistakes. It doesn’t matter if you’re successful or have the most followers, because you are worthy. You are worthy of being loved, of being chosen, and of being cared for in the most delicious of ways because you always have been enough. Remember what it feels like to love yourself and let that become the standard for what you will accept.

I hope you won’t have to make the same mistakes I did. I hope you won’t need to figure out what it means to love your body regardless of size. I hope you won’t place your worthiness in the hands of a man who was only sent to fumble a love like yours. I hope you won’t question everything and realize you know nothing. But most of all, I hope that you will never doubt that you are wonderful and enough as you are. Because the super power that we all seek is just that. To know you are enough means that you won’t only never tolerate less, but that you will move with the force of a thousand ancestors all finally free. The grandmothers who had to stay married for money. The wives who slept in separate beds and looked the other way. The women who took care of the men they were with just as they did for their children.

Because you are more than the wounds of generations that came before us, more than my own mistakes. My loves, you are already enough as you are.

~

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