I Married Superman: 10 Characteristics of a Quality Guy.

Via on Jan 17, 2013

S is for Superman

Finding a good man, x-ray vision not required.

I married Superman.

No, he doesn’t own a cape—but he does have super powers.

He makes me feel like the most amazing woman alive. He treats me with the care and respect I deserve; he loves our little girl in a way that melts my heart—and every single day I thank God that I married this man.

So what should you look for in a guy? These 10 things:

1. Humor. Life has ups and downs, and dramas and supporting characters that we sometimes wish would vanish. So your guy should make you laugh.

2. Intelligence. My man has a Master’s degree in Geophysics and another Master’s in Medical Physics; with work experience in both fields. Basically, I’m married to a genius. Does your guy have to have an I.Q. better than Einstein’s? No, but you definitely need to be able to relate to him on a mental level—and he should bring out your own curiosity and intellect too.

3. Physical fitness. Your guy doesn’t have to leap tall buildings in a single bound—but if he takes care of himself physically, it’s a sign of self-respect.

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4. Patience. Being in a relationship with me probably isn’t easy. I’m neurotic and hyperactive—and impatient. So I’m eternally grateful that I married a guy with the patience of a superhero. Trust me, if he has patience with you and your quirky qualities, it makes life that much easier.

5. Loving feeling. My husband loves me; truly loves who I am inside and out. Pick someone who really likes being with you.

6. Soulful. My guy is so spiritual. He always has been. Being with someone with a spiritual nature is enriching to your life—and to the relationship you share.

7. Commitment Lover. Back in high school, I had a theory that my girlfriends should date guys who liked worn out jeans (I’ve dated my husband since I was 14). My thinking was that if he had trouble getting rid of those perfectly worn pants, then he was also more likely to enjoy long-term relationships. Now I’m not too sure of the accuracy of this adolescent idea, but your ideal partner should show a level of commitment in other areas of his life besides you.

8. Good taste. My favorite clothes and jewelry are hand-picked by my husband. I don’t think that this has to be a requirement of a successful relationship—but it sure doesn’t hurt either.

9. Compliments. Your perfect mate should spend more time highlighting what’s great about you than harping on your lesser traits; not because he’s blind to your reality, but because he loves you for who you are and knows that we live up to the standards that our set for us. In short, we grow to be our best selves in a nurturing, positive environment.

10. He doesn’t take your crap. Okay, so I do mean the above statement in number nine. However, that doesn’t mean your guy should turn his head when you treat him poorly, try to control him, or act in a way that’s beneath you. He should encourage—and if necessary demand—that you rise and shine to the occasion; that you be your best self.

Life is challenging, and a great partner should make your life easier not harder.

Finding a good guy is possible.

Good luck on your quest.

 Like elephant love & relationships on Facebook.

~

Ed: Kate Bartolotta

About Jennifer S. White

Jennifer is a voracious reader, obsessive writer, passionate yoga instructor and drinker of hoppy ales. She's also a devoted mama and wife (a stay-at-home yogi). She considers herself to be one of the funniest people that ever lived and she's also an identical twin. In addition to her work on elephant journal, Jennifer has over 40 articles published on the wellness website MindBodyGreen and her yoga-themed column Your Personal Yogi ran in the newspaper Toledo Free Press. She holds a Bachelor's degree in geology, absolutely no degrees in anything related to literature, and she currently owns a wheel of cheese. If you want to learn more about Jennifer then make sure to check out her writing, as she's finally put her tendencies to over-think and over-share to good use. Jennifer's first book, The Best Day of Your Life, is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Instagram and on her website.

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35 Responses to “I Married Superman: 10 Characteristics of a Quality Guy.”

  1. Jennifer S. White Jennifer White says:

    p.s. That picture is of one of my hubby's favorite activities growing up: pond jumping :)

  2. Beth says:

    You are a very, VERY lucky woman. I've been looking for these very qualities and am on the verge of giving up and adopting more cats.

    • Jennifer S. White Jennifer White says:

      I am lucky, but don't give up! (Although, do adopt more cats if you want ;) Seriously, good men are not fictitious creatures. They are out there seeking good women.

    • Bnacco says:

      Beth, keep in mind that finding a guy that matches these criteria is not easy, do not limit your self more by bringing on so many cats that he has to have a degree in Animal Husbandry. The best thing you could do is go to a grocery store or gym to find this person. Keep in mind, do not look at the guy who is so beefed up with muscles that you will be competing with weights as an affair, but find the guy who just slightly over and is trying to improve his self. The grocery store look in the produce section. If you try to find a guy in the meat department, you could be working against severe testosterone again. Don't discount joining a AA group or alike as there you may find someone who has tackled an issue in their life and is fixing it. Filtering through these is very important but good could come from it. Good luck he is out there, the right place to look is very important though.

  3. MsElaineous says:

    They exist! Especially the Irish guys, I married one! He is all of the above & more…

  4. Samantha says:

    I found one, too!

    • Cindy says:

      Three cats and one guy who is not like the above. Life goes on, heaven forbid if I knew how far off the mark I was from any man's list.

  5. Tamara Hauze says:

    "Partners are meant to have a priestly role in each other's lives. They are meant to help each other access the highest parts within themselves." ~ A Year of Daily Wisdom by Marianne Williamson
    My husband wears superman jammies! Yes, really.

  6. Jennifer S. White Jennifer White says:

    Thanks for the feedback, ladies. I love hearing your stories.

  7. Looks like I'm a winner! Thanks for this ego boost, Jennifer! I nabbed me a good one!

  8. elephantjournal says:

    What the helllll does number six mean? As a gent, or a lady, I'd love more specific, personal advice from you!
    http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/01/the-interv… Reminds me of this.

    Don't tell folks to be "spiritual", show them how? More, please, help!

    • Jennifer S. White Jennifer White says:

      No, I'm certainly not telling people to be more spiritual. In fact, I'm not telling people to be any of these things. I'm saying that, for me, these are qualities that I think are important in a partner. Maybe spirituality isn't important to some people, but to me it definitely is. If you look at any of the things on this list, I think most of them are innate qualities that you have or don't, and I certainly don't plan on embarking upon a quest to teach people how to be funny or believe in God.

  9. Tom w says:

    Great article, I love it. I strive to have all/more of those qualities in myself. I have found not having enough of #10 can be a bad thing.

    Keep on writing, thank you.

    • Jennifer S. White Jennifer White says:

      Thanks for the positive feedback, Tom. Much appreciated. I love that #10 has gotten such great support. I know, as a strong woman, I appreciate when my husband "doesn't take my crap." Thanks again.

  10. [...] an arena (or dive-bar) of fans, or a yoga student finally balancing in crane pose, you’re a hero, even a superhero, to someone, if even just yourself. Maybe we just need a little Marvel comics to inspire us… [...]

  11. Stylus Pen says:

    This is a good top 10 list. I really like the "Commitment Lover" one too, that's really good. I laughed, but its sooo true

  12. HM says:

    Great article! I’ve consistently shown all but #10. Whenever I don’t show #10, my girlfriend tells me that those times make her feel like she “doesn’t have any limits.” Maybe that reaction is a bad sign, but I suspect it’s simply that she wants to see that I respect myself enough not to let her walk all over me.

  13. Kathleen says:

    I have 8/10 and the other two don't matter – we have been together for 25 years and I sooooooo love him. Every day. Always.

  14. Chesney Mariani says:

    Great article. I married Superman though ;)

  15. Amy says:

    I wouldn’t marry Superman if you paid me to do it. He would be way too full of himself and would always be dashing out the door to put out another fire. While I agree with 66.6% of the points made in the article, I disagree with the rest. A quality man is humble and loving, not boastful about how great he is. If I’m looking for a challenge match, I’ll bring out the chess board. The Irish are great, but the ones I have dated are very bull-headed and touchy. I’ll stick with my Italian, who is the kindest, sweetest and most helpful man I have ever known. We all have our own ideas about what works for us. Oh, and he adores my cats. Why would any woman want or try to give their partner crap, or vice versa? A willingness to compromise and be accepting, should be on that list.

  16. Mel says:

    That’s a great list, but I’m So surprised Honesty is not on it! I married a guy who had 7 out of 10 of these and I thought how lucky am I?! BUT it turned out he was a deceiver and a half. Also, I was so amused at number 7…mine hung on to ALL his old stuff, especially mementos of girlfriends past (ugh), but had serious commitment issues soon as he ‘got’ the girl. Always one foot in one foot out! Thought I’d share with you that what you may think indicates ‘commitment lover’ may be a guy who also hangs on to his emotional baggage because he’s never dealt with it! We are currently going through a divorce :( and although there are days I miss all his other superman qualities terribly, I remind myself how tormented I used to feel constantly wondering whether whatever he was saying to me was true or not, sincere or just meant to manipulate me, he was such a habitual liar/deceiver.

  17. Henry says:

    Only if there were a course .

    I’d be one very Happy man..

  18. YES! add more cats! I agree. haha.

    I find it sad how ever that these things need to be written down. This to me is basic humanity between two lovers. But I know all too well , that these things are NOT common for some and it creates a very negative experience for all.

  19. Kaitlyn says:

    Found him.

  20. nir says:

    i am a guy and i like this article much. women are somewhat an enigma even though i grew up with a twin sister :) yes i totally get it, women love feeling safe and i can only imagine that you reciprocate. would be nice to have his 10 things that make you a super hero. personally i struggle with #4 and #10. it's not simple being with a woman who is fire. it's partly why i love her, though i feel that sometimes there is more reaction and a response. i have yet to learn how to calmly walk away without getting involved, nor have i cracked the code on #10 without her feeling she is being blamed or being put down.. but yeah – it's a journey :) thanks for posting jen!

  21. R Oz says:

    I call bullsh#$.. For every women that loves this list there are ten more that don't. Fact is, women are complex and don't know what they really want as a whole. Some women like strong quiet types while others like sensitive, emotionally expressive types. Some women want the man to take charge of everything and others want to be equals in all decisions made. I have been married and have dated numerous women of all backgrounds. If its one thing I can say for certain is that all women are different. Different needs , wants , demands, what have you. Men will never be able to figure women out as a whole. The trick is to find a man who loves you for you , the good and the bad, and can't imagine not having you in his life. Who will stick by you through thick and thin. Doesn't matter if he's funny, intellectual or well styled. Problem is women are out there looking for perfect men when they themselves are not perfect, because of lists like this.

    • Dr. Sidd says:

      I agree with Dr. Oz. Ain't nobody got time for this. Staying alive is tough enough. On top of that I have to do this, be that?

  22. Anna says:

    Really? This is like something I would've written in my diary as a teenager. The fact that it was written by a grown woman makes it contrived at worst, generic at best. Nice, funny, and works out? Wow. Thanks for those amazing revelations.

  23. Ashleigh Hitchcock ajhitchcock says:

    lucky girl.

  24. EKLounge says:

    I'm a guy and I like the article although I feel like its a bit specific to blanket cover looking for a spouse. When dating there are 3 primary intimacies important to share; intellectual, spiritual, and maturity. One of the most important characteristics of a person to watch for are unselfishness; in other words, how do they treat people that they won't benefit from? A second characteristic, no less important, are conflict resolution skills. How able are they to stop resisting and talk to you like a human being whose needs are just as important as your own. Thirdly, ability to attach and commit; like the author said, their value to commitment is important to observe outside the sphere of a romantic relationship, it is quite revealing. There are hundreds of books written on this kind of stuff….so obviously 3 things is short, but in the long run if you consider these things, you'll make a wise decision and be able to say you married superman(or woman in my case). And I don't care whoever you are reading this, a committed successful marriage/family is the single most difficult thing you can do in this life, so if you like a challenge, get after it! :) Thank you for posting this article

  25. Amy E says:

    I agree with EKLounge and his philosophy relating to 3 primary intimacies. All of his stated characteristics are integral components necessary for a healthy and stable relationship. Having given up a career that was very important to me, to marry a man with custody of his three small children, all of whom had major emotional and developmental problems, was very challenging for me in my early 40s. I moved to a new town, gave up my single friends, and raised our children in the exact way that I would have raised my own biological children, if I had been able to have any. My husband traveled around the world on business, in a time when we did not have international cell phones. I didn't do it to be labled Superwoman. I was merely doing what I considered to be the right thing for my husband, my children, and our family. If that isn't a challenging commitment full of love, honor and selflessness, I don't know what is. It was the best thing I've ever done. Tennis, anyone?

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