Finding a good man, x-ray vision not required.
I married Superman.
No, he doesn’t own a cape—but he does have super powers.
He makes me feel like the most amazing woman alive. He treats me with the care and respect I deserve; he loves our little girl in a way that melts my heart—and every single day I thank God that I married this man.
So what should you look for in a guy? These 10 things:
1. Humor. Life has ups and downs, and dramas and supporting characters that we sometimes wish would vanish. So your guy should make you laugh.
2. Intelligence. My man has a Master’s degree in Geophysics and another Master’s in Medical Physics; with work experience in both fields. Basically, I’m married to a genius. Does your guy have to have an I.Q. better than Einstein’s? No, but you definitely need to be able to relate to him on a mental level—and he should bring out your own curiosity and intellect too.
3. Physical fitness. Your guy doesn’t have to leap tall buildings in a single bound—but if he takes care of himself physically, it’s a sign of self-respect.
4. Patience. Being in a relationship with me probably isn’t easy. I’m neurotic and hyperactive—and impatient. So I’m eternally grateful that I married a guy with the patience of a superhero. Trust me, if he has patience with you and your quirky qualities, it makes life that much easier.
5. Loving feeling. My husband loves me; truly loves who I am inside and out. Pick someone who really likes being with you.
6. Soulful. My guy is so spiritual. He always has been. Being with someone with a spiritual nature is enriching to your life—and to the relationship you share.
7. Commitment Lover. Back in high school, I had a theory that my girlfriends should date guys who liked worn out jeans (I’ve dated my husband since I was 14). My thinking was that if he had trouble getting rid of those perfectly worn pants, then he was also more likely to enjoy long-term relationships. Now I’m not too sure of the accuracy of this adolescent idea, but your ideal partner should show a level of commitment in other areas of his life besides you.
8. Good taste. My favorite clothes and jewelry are hand-picked by my husband. I don’t think that this has to be a requirement of a successful relationship—but it sure doesn’t hurt either.
9. Compliments. Your perfect mate should spend more time highlighting what’s great about you than harping on your lesser traits; not because he’s blind to your reality, but because he loves you for who you are and knows that we live up to the standards that are set for us. In short, we grow to be our best selves in a nurturing, positive environment.
10. He doesn’t take your crap. Okay, so I do mean the above statement in number nine. However, that doesn’t mean your guy should turn his head when you treat him poorly, try to control him, or act in a way that’s beneath you. He should encourage—and if necessary demand—that you rise and shine to the occasion; that you be your best self.
Life is challenging, and a great partner should make your life easier not harder.
Finding a good guy is possible.
Good luck on your quest.
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Ed: Kate Bartolotta
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July’s Full Moon in Capricorn: The Heart wants what it Wants. How to Love a Woman who Scares You. The 4 Stages of a Good Divorce. Our Soulmates are Rarely Who We Expect. I Still Think of You. Men, Let’s Stop Fooling Ourselves: Size Matters. To the One Who Tried to Break Me. An Open Letter to the Fixers. How your Stored Memories in the Amygdala can lead to PTSD. How My Sister’s Death Transformed my Self-Perception.