This One’s for My Skinny Sisters.

Via on May 23, 2014

scrawny sistas

I am a size zero.

I am as active and inactive as anyone else.

There are stretches where I don’t use my body and other days where I find myself on my mat twice a day.

My metabolism is on steroids: I burn through sugar faster than a tub of Ben and Jerry’s in the hands of a woman watching chick flick re-runs after a break up.

I have never shoved my finger down my throat, or been on a diet.

I have tried to gain weight through certain parts of my life—feeling self conscious of my weight and envious of women with beautiful full hips. I tried protein shakes, lifting weights—but saw little changes in my body weight. I became more muscular and fit, but my thin ass stuck around.

Some days I steam kale and eat like my body is a temple and other days I eat popcorn for dinner. I eat whatever I want, when I want and feel good about it.

I’m just little.

I used a picture of my back for the feature image of my last article “A Take No Shit List For Your Well Being.”

A woman commented on the article saying,

“Wouldn’t it be even better if the picture were of a person more realistic? This size zero blow dried super tan model just turns me right off the content.”

I was the size zero in that photograph.

The day I took the image holding my hands powerfully above me amongst mountain peaks I had hiked 24 kms into a valley in Jasper National Park to camp in the bush. I hadn’t showered, I was sweating, I was greasy from bug dope and covered in dirt. Nothing was blow dried or airbrushed. The article was about standing in our power—and in that image I was gloriously basking in my own.

I am also not a model. I am a real breathing woman that walks amongst this earth beside all of you.

Size zeros are real women too. Models, for that matter, are real women too.

I understand that our world might be sick of media shoving glorified, thin, air brushed models down our throats, but is the solution to throw all skinny women under a bus because they don’t have hips to hold on to?

We are the reason skinny women splatter front pages of magazines. So instead of spiting fire at a woman because she gets paid to be photographed or has a Thumbelina waist, why not revolt against the seeds we planted that grew into an existence of a world obsessed with exploiting women and body image.

In her article “The Beauty Myth,” Naomi Wolf reported that, “thirty-three thousand women told American researchers they would rather lose ten to fifteen pounds than achieve any other goal.”

Through repeated images of excessively thin women in media, advertisement, and modeling, thinness has become associated with not only beauty, but happiness and success.

From my skinny ass to yours: that’s horrendous bollocks.

If we want to radically shift our world we need to begin stepping over body image—trivial measurements of our worth and beauty, and relentlessly love ourselves.

“Authentic self-love is crazy sexy, whatever your body looks like.” ~ Bryan Reeves

We live in a world where we are quick to judge a woman by what the label on her pants say.

A woman’s “realness” and divinity has diddly squat to do with her waist size.

I want skinny to stop being idolized by the world and I also want women to stop throwing it under the bus.

I want us to all love our juicy souls and fleshy bodies and ride the bus together free of compare, resent and judgements.

The solution isn’t to pass a thin woman on the street and tell her to “eat something.”

I have been self conscious of my body for most of my life. I tip toe and refrain from saying it out loud, because people get offended that someone who’s “skinny” could struggle with body image.

Yes, “size zeroes” have issues with self acceptance and body image too. You won’t automatically be at home in your body when you shrink your waist—that’s not how it works.

We all have to love the crap out of ourselves every damn day.

I get flack about my weight all the time. This summer I had a man walk beside me after a delicious, stretchy yoga class as I basked in the sun drinking coffee and remark,

“Jesus, gain some weight.”

I have people make jokes at the expense of my size on a weekly basis. When I suggest eating a big ol’ greasy burger with poutine at the restaurant I serve at, people scoff and say, “sure, like you eat the likes of those.” They laugh, naïve that what they are doing is in fact misplaced and even abusive.

When I was younger, the girls on my volleyball team laughed at my skinny, knobby knees and flat chest. My nickname was “twiggy.”

I hated my body.

I will never forget the older boys at school who sneered and laughed and bullied me growing up because I was skinny—the ones who inspired my self esteem to build some nasty beliefs about myself that I am still undoing.

I will never forget the women who came up to me in a shopping mall when I was 14 and put their hands around my ankles, measuring the size of my legs and shrieking disgustedly at my size.

I wonder if they would have done the same if I was a 300 pound woman?

There seems to be an awful lot of light on bullying of people who swing to one side of the scale—but what about the other?

A friend of mine told me the other day her nine year old sibling is constantly bullied at school and wears baggy-sleeved shirts in shame of his body. His teacher even brought up that he was “too skinny” in front of his whole class. Allowing and encouraging a class full of fragile, thirsty minds to hear his idiocy and carry on treating others abusively.

After a self growth course this year, a woman approached me and thanked me for sharing my struggle for self acceptance and love about my size zero skinny ass; previously she had had no idea that thin women got bullied too. She had been on the other end of the getting-made-fun-of weight spectrum and was shocked to hear me speak of my own path of accepting and loving my own body.

This just in: we all have to walk a journey to self love and acceptance.

We all have insecurities and parts of our bodies we might feel ashamed of or wish were just a little big bigger or smaller.

We all must face discrimination, assumptions, judgements and deal with other people’s opinions of our shells.

We are dealt genetic cards at birth and show up in all shapes and sizes. Some of us have petite bums, some of us have asses to hold on to, some of us are dealt pancakes, some of us get tits that inspire other women to take fat of their ass and sew it to their chests. We are all so damn perfect and worthy of walking this planet free from harassment.

So unless we figure out a way to turn back time and negotiate our genetics with the universe, I get double A boobs and this skinny ass.

And all of it is just a shell—like wrapping paper tossed aside on Christmas morning to uncover the juicy and sweetest parts of our souls.

I still get in fights with my self esteem from time to time, but I am ferociously learning to take myself as I am and to love myself up—in all my phenomenal skinny glory.

“Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful.” ~ Sophia Loren

The first step in disintegrating body image discrimination is connecting with our own raw hearts before we speak. The solution is being able to see women in all shapes and sizes and refrain from making unjustified assumptions on their diets.

The solution is not to wonder how much she eats and if when she gets up to pee halfway through her meal if she is going to shove her finger down her throat in the company of a toilet.

Skinny is not superior. It’s just another measurement floating around in the genetic universe.

Our souls, our beauty, and our brilliance is not measured by something as trivial as our waist size or our exteriors.

“Size does not make a difference—we cannot take our bodies with us into eternity.”-Thomas Voelker

The solution is to just really love each other, exactly as we are.

I am writing today to say all bodies are beautiful, but I am speaking specifically to speak to my scrawny sisters—those of you who get flack all the damn time—and are too afraid to speak out against outrageous, malicious comments, opinions and jokes because you are “lucky” to be little.

You are extraordinary in all your skinny glory; you are magnificent in all your Thumbelina smallness. I love all hundred and five pounds of each of your size zero asses—don’t spend a moment in shame when faced with other’s disposable opinions of your exterior.

And to those of you who poke fun at my slim sisters, my brosistas, or myself—with preconceived misconceptions that your imposed opinions are somehow justified—hear me roar.

I will not stand for your harassment. I will not cower down from your inappropriate stares at my lanky legs and knobby knees, I will not bend over and take your foolish, atrocious assumptions on what my body “should” look like. I will not shove my head in the sand and be assaulted by your blatant ignorance.

My skinny, healthy ass is marvelous as it is.

And so is yours.

So let’s all get on the damn bus together and build a world that isn’t measured by the width of our hips.

Let’s build one that is measured by the walloping, insurmountable beauty within our hearts and the undeniable succulence of our souls.

More love—less of everything else.

authors own (skinny ass)

“Though she be but little, she is fierce.” ~ William Shakespeare

 

Relephant Reads! 

Relephant: enjoy a diet of loving-kindness:

An inspiring woman:

Weight loss, racism, self-acceptance, humor:

> Why I’d Rather be a Skinny B**** 

Can We Retire the Phrase “Real Women,” Please?

Skinny Love: Skin & Bones.

 

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Editor: Renée Picard

Images: courtesy of Janne Robinson

About Janne Robinson

Janne Robinson is a poet, writer, bushwalker, idealist and animal activist currently residing in Vancouver Island. She cuts kindling with her teeth, eats Bukowski for breakfast and makes the habit of saying the word feminist as much as possible. She surfs naked, pees in the woods, and loves whiskeys that swing their hips when they walk and know what they are doing. Janne's life-work is to be transparent. She makes a living off hanging her dirty and clean laundry out for the world to see. Her mission is to give others permission to also walk and exist with the same transparency. You can connect with her on TwitterInstagram and Facebook. Please also visit and connect with her Facebook writer's page. Check out Janne's website.

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319 Responses to “This One’s for My Skinny Sisters.”

  1. Shannon says:

    Maddie,

    Yes, you are right. It is a mental illness. I am a size zero and have been my life. I have been accused of doing those things even though I have never and will never. It is unfair to judge anyone period. The point she was trying to make is it doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like: Love yourself. That is the important thing. I was so upset about my weight for so long. If I could just gain 10-15 pounds I would be happy….It never happened. However, with my growing older I have learned to love my body regardless. I am sure no offense was meant to be made by that comment. Having said that, I have been asked if I had done that before. That is always the first thing that comes to peoples minds when they look at me. It shouldn’t be the first things that comes to mind though. We all value how we look to much. The important thing is that we are happy with ourselves and that no one else can be the judge of our beauty, but ourselves. Great post. I could relate to what you said fully!

  2. JeanMarie says:

    Amen!
    Although my naughty body learned how to hold onto curves when I broke 25, I was a stick until then. Now I am commiserating with you re: women On the The other end sneering. It's not easy on either end if the spectrum. Can't we all just celebrate that we are women and forget about the esthetics?

  3. Emily says:

    Thank you thank you thank you for posting this article. While I read over negative comments that bully my body type as being unreal and un-relatable to a plus size woman’s struggles I applaud you for posting this. Growing up, my natural body type has been underweight according to the pediatricians. My whole family was like this. I am 20 years old and am a size zero at 103 pounds. I eat three meals a day and exercise at least once a week. Besides the jokes about my small boobs and skinny legs, I am usually comfortable in my body until someone hugs me and tells me I need to eat a cheeseburger. I eat plenty, thanks. I have noticed this going around facebook posted by friends in the similar situation, and it makes me feel like a real human when I see I am not the only one who feels this way. Screw all the people who say it’s not a “real” problem because yes it is. You can’t say you look unhealthy to me when I’m a 16 year old girl running xcountry eating 5 meals a day to gain weight because skinny shaming is “in.” Thanks to the haters, I hated my body you all envied. I’m thankful I have come to a point where I am thankful for my body, and don’t want to be anyone else. Peace

  4. csdandelion says:

    Hi Janne,
    First of all I would like to thank you for all of the writing you do. You are incredibly talented. I also want to share bit of my journey with you. I am also from Sherwood Park . I was always average size, never chubby but decided I wanted to be thinner; to fit the "perfect" thin ideal. I thought it would make my life easier. To me, your body represented everything I strived for; everything I was killing myself for. To me, you are perfect. I realize we all struggle with self-esteem issues, but I could use some words of guidance from someone who to me you were perfect. You and your skinny sisters were what I was starving myself for and had to be hospitalized for and would have died to look like. I know this is my struggle and I don't intend for this to come across as from anywhere but love. I struggle daily to derogate the "thin ideal" that is presented in the media. I know it is what is inside that counts and try to practice self-love but every day is a struggle. I would do anything to look like you. I suffer dissonance when I read your words, as I try to love my body and feel nothing but love towards people like yourself who have naturally thin bodies but still am consumed by incredible jealously and desire to be a size 0.

  5. M C says:

    All too familiar, and I am here to tell you, “things never change”. I was always the “skinny girl”. (absolutely familial) Looking back at my high school yearbook, many of my friends’ comments started with, “stick woman ” or “hey bird legs”. It was always ok to say, “you are SO skinny!”. (as if it would be acceptable to say to someone, you are SO fat!”) My mom would make me full fat ice cream milkshakes with Tiger’s Milk protein and a raw egg for breakfast. I ate all of the junk food, and as much as I wanted of it, that none of my friends would dare consume. I was “envied” that I could wear a crochet string bikini, but poked fun at in a miniskirt, because of my “chicken legs”. I was married, at 24, 5’9″, weighing 115 lbs. (ironically, my husband had first noticed me on the tennis courts, BECAUSE of those chicken legs! 😉 Well, time marches on, and history does repeat itself. One of my daughters suffered bullying (including the new age “cyber bullying”) in middle school, and was often asked about her bulimia and/or anorexia. It was, of course, a difficult and hurtful time, however I was able to relate to her situation and she (we) got through it. (Interestingly, her twin sister had to deal with just the opposite bullying…..girls can be so mean. :/ ) My children are thriving, empathetic, young adult college students and I am now a middle aged woman, dealing with trying to maintain a “healthy” weight. Luckily, I DO have those “skinny genes”, though no skinny jeans, which makes it easier for me to manage my weight.

    Take heart, skinny girls, and ALWAYS consider how what you say may affect others.

  6. Mae says:

    So I love this article! I am a "fat" girl. Like I don't mean curvy. I mean fat! And have been for most of my life, however I am very lucky to be able to say that I have rarely been bullied for it, honestly in the 14 years that I have been overweight I can think of 5 times that someone (outside of my family) has commented negatively on my weight. And 4 of those 5 comments came from girls who were very near my size or bigger.
    Most of my friends are thin, a lot of them have been trying for years to put on weight and I've had to watch them go through more crap as a thin girl than I have as an overweight one. So I know first hand that prejudices and bullying happens to any type of person. And although I have always been jealous of their body size, I've also always known that that is a problem with me, in my brain, and there is nothing they or anyone else could do about it.
    Okay now the actually reason I came here, sorry I got a little side tracked there, I want to know from some of you thin girls, your view on "thin privilege". From my view it is a real thing, people are more apt to give a skinny person a job over a fat person, assuming they are both equally qualified etc… But like I said that is not the person applying for the jobs fault, and I would never degrade someone for "winning" against me even if I knew for a fact that they won because they were smaller than me. However I want to know if my view is skewed, if as a larger person I have been trained to believe thin privilege is real. Anyway. Not trying to upset anyone, just looking for honest feedback and opinions. :)

  7. Heather says:

    I’m 5’2 and a size zero. I’m little whatever. But this article is silly… #whitegirlproblems #firstworldproblems

    • Kaitlyn says:

      So either you have perfect proportions and were never bullied, or you have skin of steel. Either way congrats! And don't be negative about a wonderfully written article about a true problem with women's self esteem issues.

    • R. says:

      Hi Heather
      We all have our issues… what seems like an issue to one person is not to another one.
      It is great if you accept your body. Well done! But maybe it is a bit shallow to say the article is "silly" just because you can't relate.

  8. D says:

    When I was anorexic many years ago, I was regularly sneered at and insulted. I was even followed home once by a gang of teenagers trying to freak me out for some reason. I recall when I was once working in a store, a man came in, looked me up and down and said — please eat, you could be a beautiful woman. I’ve had grown men walk behind me saying they’d never fuck me because they’re not gay and into 12 year old boys. I’d never fuck them either but who’s counting?! Its very interesting how when YOUR body represents something someone else finds unusual or rare, suddenly the onlooker assumes that they have the right to express their distaste in the most offensive way they can imagine and i dont know, perhaps you’ll thank them for it??! Either they think someone so unusual can’t be affected by their abuse negatively or that that abuse is somehow justified and I would say they think giving it makes them righteous. Everyone who ever assaulted me like that always seemed, well, dimentedly proud of themselves. I am no longer anorexic but I am still small framed and reminded of it often in conversation. When I get a negative comment I try to defend myself with that same pride I notice in my attackers. I work hard to stay in good shape, my shape. If people don’t like that shape they can go fuck themselves. (Pardon my language)

  9. Kaitlyn Burrell says:

    Amen! People don’t believe me when I tell them I was bullied as a child. They think I’m just looking to bring attention to the fact that I am thin. I have come to terms with my body, and that not all people appreciated it. However, I still feel as if my larger friends don’t appreciate me trying to relate to them with their own struggles with body imagine and comments from strangers. My struggle may not be exactly the same, however I do feel that I can relate. It’s amazing how the rest of the world does not think this is a problem, thank you for shedding light on this problem! It’s not ok to accuse someone of an eating disorder and/or comment on their weight EVER. I wish I could protect all those naive innocent young girls in high school girls that are currently going through this type of bullying. However I do appreciate you asking people to take the first step to end this issue!

  10. Douglas says:

    I didn’t know skinny people get this much shit from others. I was on the other side of things. In the 6th grade I was 6’2 221 pounds.I print much resented small or skinny people because I caught shit from everyone for being freaky big and suffered from dozens of ridiculous nick names. I would like to say I’m sorry to the small people that I’ve hated for most of my life. I didn’t realize you guys had it just as bad.

  11. Laura says:

    I found the way you dealt with eating disorders extremely offensive and rude. You don't get to pick and choose what kind of stigma you want to break down.
    Secondly, saying that society shames thin people is like saying you there is such thing as white racism.
    Although, being white (and quite thin! this is coming from someone in your shoes), I have felt discriminated against occasionally and in some cases very hurt by being called things such as 'white trash', but that doesn't make white racism exist, when the huge underlying problem that has been doing on for centuries is racism perpetrated by white people to other races.
    Similarly, although you have felt hurt for being thin, your body type is what is glorified by society. If you feel hurt for having the desirable body type, imagine how awful people feel who have not hit the genetic jackpot (or what society determines it to be).
    I agree that the main problem is the media's objectification of women's bodies, however, society does not shame thin people, it praises and glorifies them. I think this article could have been a lot better written if it outlined that, instead of the false idea that society bullies those who are thin.

    • Brittany says:

      I don’t understand how you can still believe that skinny girls are “glorified” as you say. Did you not read a single comment on this post? Or this post at all? Many of the comments include a small snippet of their bullying experience. I have had coworkers tell me to my face that my body type is disgusting. That I’m nothing but bones and how curves look prettier. Oh what wonderful insight. But I’ve been trying since I was in middle school to gain enough weight to break 100lbs. It hasn’t happened yet and I’m half way through college. So just in case you didn’t get to read any of the comments above your comment, this is my bullying experience. I’m so, so sorry that you still believe that all of us skinny people want this. Because it is just as hard to gain weight as it is to lose weight.

  12. Rachelle says:

    Thank you is all I can say.

  13. kandi says:

    I have not always been a big person, I used to be a size 5 and alot of people hated me for it. Now at a size 20 thats twenty not zero, but I am not going to beat myself up about it, I just have to get to a point in my life that I forgive myself. I will never be a size zero, but I know I wont always be a size 20 either………………..I have to be healthy in my head to be healthy in my body………….I loved reading your article!!!!! Thank you for sharing.

  14. Laura says:

    This is so true, very inspiring. Thanks, skinny sister! I'm so sick of explaining myself, people just don't get that you can be naturally very skinny and healthy at the same time

  15. Sarah says:

    thank you

  16. Paulie says:

    Coming from a girl who's extremely overweight, I understand girls my size wanting to feel included in society. However, I will never understand girls my size who skinny shame. We get enough body hate ourselves so there's no need to spread more. Size 0 or size 20, everyone is beautiful in some way!

  17. Ashley says:

    I can speak from both sides of the scale when it comes to being OK with who you are – physically and mentally. I’ve never been near what classifies as ‘overweight’, but I was unhappy with my body in the state that it was and wanted to lose some of the belly bump I had goin on. Through the journey of a healthy relationship gone askew, a devaluing I saw through my job, and not an ideal living situation, stress took its toll on my mind and my body. I shrank from 135lbs down to almost 90lbs (about a size 8 down to a 0). I lost the belly bump I wanted to, but I also lost a hell of a lot more. My clothes became loose, my rings wanted to fall off my fingers, and I could no longer sleep on my side or back without a pillow due to the pain I would feel in my bones after laying on them for so long. I was too skinny for my liking. I was not okay in my new form and became so self conscious of how little I had become. I diminished physically and mentally. I finally understood what my sister didn’t like about being a double zero. Through this discovery I have also learned that the most important thing is being ok with ones self. Through this realization, I’ve felt that this is a topic worth conversing about and sharing with the world. Like everything else, every story has two sides. I believe myself blessed to have experienced both sides and to now know where my comfort zone lies and where I most feel like me. And that’s the most important thing :)

    You can always choose to be nice. So let’s just be nice and embrace who we are and not what we are. We are not the size of the clothes we fit into. We are the minds and hearts of the world. We are spirits in a physical body that comes in all shapes and sizes. We are all beautiful. ♡

  18. Ella says:

    I want to enjoy this author but after reading a few of her pieces I find the message to be hypocritical, when you state so many times over that you are a size zero and make what feels like passive aggressive comments towards larger women or women with eating disorders. All that to say size doesn’t matter? Clearly it does to the author. Articles like this, who seem to preach one thing but after a closer look really perpetuate the issues are a huge disappointment. I read another article where again the author tells us how beautiful she is, a size zero, again and again but yet people are abusive to her… I’m feeling she may be trying to get attention cause this message is clearly very self serving and never seems to include others pain and experiences. She has no clue at all of anyone’s point of view but her own. Which is her prerogative but I can’t listen to it anymore.

  19. Rachel says:

    How liberating! Thank you for this amazing, intelligent and compassionate article.
    I am a size zero, and have been battling between accepting compliments, feeling the envy of other women, feeling inadequate when I see curvy celebs, and feeling embarrassed by skinny shaming.
    I used not to feel like a "real" woman. I am now trying to embrace my sensual feminine goddess, feel good in my own skin. Reading this article is a beautiful step in my journey. Thank you!

  20. Brian Higgins says:

    Janne, If that is the picture of you with your arms stretched up between the mountain peaks, you have an awesome ass and a killer body. You just keep moving on!

  21. Megan says:

    My skinny scrawny boyfriend thanks you. He should weigh a ridiculous amt because he eats and eats but he never gains. And people comment all the time to him about eating a cheeseburger or something. He's always been called, the little guy. It's hurtful. I'm sharing this with him tonight. Being skinny is just who he is.

  22. veronica says:

    Oh wah, cry me a river. I am a woman who struggle with her weight. I highly doubt that you have been subject to the same body shaming as I have. Its like an old white guy claiming their is no such thing as white privilege. Its not your fault but you will never understand what fat shaming feels like. I don't really understand how any one could think the cover photo for this piece is photo shopped it is obviously not. Meaning its a nice picture of two women obviously feeling empowered. Great. You mentioned one negative comment from this picture. If I where to post the same picture of my self I would be bombarded with negative comments about my body. This kind of bullying happens to large women on a daily bases. Your a tiny women, lovely. Larger Women should not stop fighting for the respect that we deserve because it makes you feel badly your a size zero. Women come in all shapes and sizes your beautiful and so am I.

  23. Ken says:

    Some of the sexiest women I’ve ever met are at both ends of the size scale (no pun intended ). It absolutely has so much more to do with attitude and personality than dress size. Women, please stop worrying about size, it really doesn’t matter much to people who are worth your thoughts.

  24. Britt says:

    When I was in junior high I was diagnosed with severe anxiety. I was sick every day I could hardly eat and was a size 00 because anything bigger hung off me. I weighed 65 pounds in grade 7. I heard non-stop comments regarding my weight from friends to family to strangers. Hearing people say "wow. You need to eat something." Killed me inside because you know what? I already KNEW that I needed to eat something!!! Nobody knows another persons story or why they act the way they do, weigh what they weigh, etc. Even my doctor harassed me when I tried to figure out why I was too sick to eat every day. People don't judge a book by its cover!

    I just want to say, if you ever feel the need to say a degrading thing to someone take a step back and think "maybe there's a reason they look like that that is beyond their own choice"

    Be kind to each other! :)

  25. Leslie says:

    Thank you for this. The term I hate the most is "skinny bitch". Why am I a bitch because I'm skinny? I eat whatever I want, I can't help my metabolism. However, I also don't drink sugary beverages or cream-laden coffee drinks that I see so many women drinking as they are wondering why they can't lose weight.

  26. Izarra Varela says:

    “The Beauty Myth” is a *book*, Janne, and one you should probably have taken the time to read before writing this. Changing one’s body image isn’t as easy as just deciding to “accept yourself”, or following some sappy listicle full of saccharin little truisms like “Take time for yourself” or “Never stop learning”. Real change requires overcoming the inertia instilled within us through mother culture. You do not have the tools to fix this problem.

    Being thin and pretty does not endow you with the understanding of what will work for others, Janne. You are not a clinical psychologist; you are not a recovering from body dysmorphia. You have never suffered from the problems you seem to want to fix in others; in the process, you’re (rather shamelessly) hunting for compliments—of which you assuredly receive many, as you are blessed with the cultural ideal. Quit while you’re ahead; enjoy the benefits of being thin and pretty. Just leave the writing to people who have something valuable to say.

  27. Foxy says:

    For all my skinny sisters: don’t worry, you will gain weight once your metabolism slows down, and it will. For some is having a kid or two, and for others is just the passing of time. But it will arrive, and you will long for the days when you could eat anything you wanted, and if you aren’t careful, you will have a hard time breaking that habit – I did – and you will gain too much. Of course there is a very small, tiny, skinny, percentage that might remain that thin for always without some major sacrifice, but I have not met them yet. Enjoy being thin. I also was told many times to gain weight, to eat a burger, and I hated that my collar bones were so pronounced, and my hips so square and bony. I always had a butt though, that was my best ass-et. But in my late 40s, 47 to me exact, I gained 20 lbs just because I was stressed, and I was not even eating bad foods, it was just my body’s reaction to cortisol. After I turned 30 and had my first child, the weight begun to very slowly increase, but I loved it because I looked healthy and my hips were round and my bones weren’t so prominent and I looked healthy, and could eat anything still. The increase in weight was very stable and it reached a plateau after my third child, but I was still a size 5/6 and fit. But I knew I better start being careful now. And I was. I have been. But when the weight comes, it’s with a vengeance. It wants to compensate. So worry not.

  28. jenny lightning says:

    i believe this so much. Im a size 2 and people look at me and are like do you eat? do you even gain weight? like dude i eat more then the normal human being and eat healthy as well. a snack will be yogurt, granola and a little honey to sweeten up then as a drink herbal tea with honey. Im active and I have a fast metabolism. I have more muscle then fat percentage in my body but that doesn’t mean I don’t look at myself in the mirror and think, my shoulders are too wide or that my butt is not luscious enough. my boyfriend will always remind that I’m beautiful the way I am made but you know sometimes you just can’t help but think that you can improve your image you can improve yourself by adding a little more meat in a few places. IT BOTHERS ME THAT I DONT HAVE MEAT ON MY BONES BUT YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT I DO AND EVERYONE DOES just in different amounts, we are all different man. I used to joke around with my mom, because she’s got some meat to spare, that we could take one of her boobs and give it to me and my sister and we’d both have C cup boobs and a luscious booty. My mother is over 160 lbs and she is one of the most successful people I know. SHE’S HAPPY WITH HER WEIGHT. She’s beautiful just the way she is and she’s happy. That’s really all that matters to me is that my mom is happy.

  29. Karin says:

    Thank you for this. I, too, am a size zero. Always have been (except while pregnant of course). For whatever reason, I haven’t ever really struggled too much with body image issues, probably because I don’t think about it that much. I am healthy! My genetics are just very small boned and lean. What I have struggled with are the questions and comments some people seem to think are okay because I am a small person, such as “how much do you weigh?” (really??) and “are you anorexic?” (NO I am not, and never have been) and “what size do you wear or do you wear kids clothes?”. I am not ashamed to say I wear a size zero, I’m just tired of the comments that come after that. Who the f*#k cares what size I am? But I’m another “real woman” who would like to see people just stop using the term “real woman”. We’re all REAL.

  30. patak says:

    Great. I am male and have the same metabolism. I also had a journey of self acceptance andI'm proud to say I did it. But from that point I made conscious decision to educate myself and put effort into what i would like to look like. Diet (eating high calorie meals few times a day) and regular specific excersises helped me to gain weight. It's good to do it from a point that you have already accepted how you look. Through acceptance i got motivation and mission to gain weight, not out of lack mentality, but out of wanting to grow.

  31. meghantobinodrowsky says:

    Absolutely! Skinny women deserve to be treated as women. But there is a problem in the fact that the VAST majority of models are size 0 when so many women are not size 0. There needs to be a better balance there. And there is a problem in the fact that so many models are actually suffering from eating disorders to maintain that size 0 as opposed to having the metabolism you have.

  32. Georgie says:

    I think this is so right and women should empower one another, not tear each other down. I am not skinny but I am not curvy either. In fact I have quite a masculin figure, pretty slim, flat chested and shoulders wider than my hips. But I have never hated my body. I have always been grown up around, and believed that loving yourself is the MOST important thing but this seems like an unrealistic goal for so many women. I have had other reasons to be self conscious about my appearance and I understand this battle. What I struggle with is how can we help those, whatever their size, who cannot be happy with their appearance. How can we encourage all women to believe in themselves and stop toeturing themselves because they are trying to fit an “ideal” that is misconstrued. I don’t know the answer but I hope that we can. Great post I will share on my social media.

  33. Grace says:

    Thank you for writing this article, it's so inspiring to read this I feel like I can relate to everything about it. I'm 6'2 and weigh 115 lbs and have struggled with body image since middle school. I would hear rumors through the grapevine that I was anorexic multiple times throughout my life. On top of that, people make comments like "How are you so skinny?" "How often do you eat or how much do you eat?". Or the most popular one is when 2 people are having a conversation five feet away from you saying "Dude, that girl is so skinny", not even realizing that the person they are talking about can hear them loud and clear. People automatically assume that when they see a thin person that they are either bulemic or anorexic, which is incredibly judgmental. Throughout high school, I was extremely self conscious about my body image and heighth, even though others would tell me to embrace it. How do you embrace something about yourself that your embarrassed about? These struggles have continued on in my life. I'm now 20 years old and lack so much self confidence that I still haven't learn to accept myself as who I am. It has affected every aspect of my life, especially social situations. The biggest problem that's resulted from this mental abuse is that I have a fear about eating around people. This developed from lunch time during school and feeling afraid that people were constantly looking at me to see how much I eat for them to have proof whether or not I really was anorexic. It got to the point where I stopped eating lunch at school because I was so wrapped up in my head about what other people thought. Unfortunately now that I'm older, that fear of judgement gives me anxiety every time I want to eat when people are around. To compensate for that, I literally leave the room to eat my meal when people are present and if I can't do that then I won't eat any food or wait until people leave, even if I'm starving. It took me a very long time to get over eating in restaurants since I have to physically sit at a table around other people that can see me eat. To overcome this, I've learned to give myself mini pep talks while I eat telling myself "no one's looking, it's just in your head," over and over again until I can reassure myself by looking around the room that truely no one is actually looking. If anyone else out there with weight or body image insecurities experience this fear of eating around others, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. It's extremely difficult to live a life when you feel like your constantly being judged by others simply by the way you look. If everyone took a moment to accept others for who they are and not make judgments based on presumptions, I truely believe everyone in this world would enjoy theirs lives a hell of a lot more.

  34. haleymacphee says:

    I've said it once, I'll say it again: Healthy looks good on everybody. In such a diverse group of beings there should never be one ideal size for everyone to try and fit into. Love what you have, and love it fiercely! I'll save the link and hand it to anyone who tells me "I should eat a hamburger" or "You're going to blow away!". The intention isn't always bad but it certainly doesn't come across as flattering. Thank you thank you thank you for putting this into the words so eloquently :)

  35. jennifer Marie Luce says:

    thank you for sharing this. My thin friend always used to proclaim she was fat and my response was, “then what am I, a beached whale?” It’s amazing how self-image affects us all, and I’m thankful for your perspective. I’ve always been curvy and had a hard time with that as a young girl. I am thankful now that I love myself the way I am. We are all beautiful. I really enjoyed this piece. Thanks again.

  36. Gwen says:

    Thank you for the great read! I too have been bullied because of my thinness. I think the word skinny is as ‘kind’ as the word fat.

  37. Lindsey says:

    That was beautiful! In high school, I was a stick, and I remember not loving myself. Since then (10 years) I'm sure I've gained 50 lbs– and now I have too many curves and still want to change my body. Thanks for spreading self love!

  38. David Lee says:

    This is where women are different from men. Men would never complain about a male model who is muscular strong and has incredible looking abs. On another note – men would never complain about the porn industry use of actors who have bigger penises. You just don’t see men marching up and down the street waving placards screaming we want to see “real dicks”. Women however would be more likely to complain and sneer about a sister who has bigger boobs, a more beautiful face, and who has had surgical enhancements. And goddess help the girl is she has used her natural charms to get ahead in life. The sad fact is that women are more than likely to tear down their own sisters to make themselves feel better.

  39. DeAnn says:

    Thanks for writing this! When I try to talk to others about how I feel being skinny and accepting my body, it sounds like I am bragging to others. We all struggle to feel good about our bodies. I would dread summertime and shorts wearing season every year. I had to work up the courage to wear shorts and be comfortable and not feel shy about my legs. I have countless times had people comment on my size and saying “must be nice”. Nail salon ladies while scrubbing my feet and calves encircle my ankles with their hands and laugh to each other and say “you are soo skinny!” Someday I believe I will keep pounds on. I am now 44years old. 5ft 6 and 108lbs. I am a climber and cyclist and eat healthy and balance that with my love of eating large meals, French fries and whatever else is lying around. I work in an ER and donuts and candies are always there for the taking. When I eat one, co workers like to exclaim “wow! I didn’t know you ate things like that.”
    In the late 80’s with models like Kate Moss started popping up, I was comforted in knowing that others thought she was thin and still beautiful.
    Thank you for letting me vent. Thank you for sharing! There are few people who actually understand . I love my body. But when life puts a stressor on us, it’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling not worthy or less than beautiful.

  40. simple truth says:

    Wonderful post – it is not about being a 00, it is about fitting into the body you were given perfectly -www.simple-truth.com/mindfuldiet

  41. Ashlee says:

    As I read your post, I kept thinking “hell yes!”. I’m in the same skinny boat. I get constant comments about what I eat, or don’t eat, or criticism over my “skeletore hands”. I.Am.Small. There is nothing I can do about it, and making fun of me is no less hurtful than it is to a larger woman, but somehow along the way it became ok to jab me in the ribs, or assume all I freaking eat is lettuce chips. I grew up hearing things like “If you didn’t have feet would you wear shoes, then why do you wear a bra?”. Don’t assume because I’m a size zero that it means I have small feelings.

  42. Celestina says:

    Thank you so much for writing this! I was always blessed with a healthy body shape, but ended up having a phase where I basically just starved myself because of how driven I was by fake media, instead of my life goals. Finally, I've found something I truly love and do with a passion (running) and now I feel comfortable in my body. I don't even know how much I weigh or what my pants size is because, frankly, I don't care. All I know is that I can run for a really long time and that makes me happy. Thank you so much for sharing something so powerful that very few people have the nerve to say <3

  43. Elaine says:

    I grew up witnessing my fat mother being treated like dirt, called stupid and lazy, passed up for job opportunities even though she had a PhD and is brilliant. My mother who raised two daughter on her own, one with paranoid schizophrenia, while working full time and going to school. Who later became a Benedictine nun. She is still shamed because of her appearance. Years later, when I lost my ovaries at the age of 33, I became sick with anorexia. I had been a low normal weight til I was 35 and then I became obsessed with control over my damaged surgically menopausal body and weight loss seemed to be the ticket. I dropped to 89 lbs at 5'5.5 inches, and I stayed underweight for six years. More often than not I was envied and complimented (even by a therapist) until my weight got to under 95 lbs. I very rarely encountered thin shaming. When I got REALLY thin, people stared but no one said anything, save my doctors. I now suffer with severe osteoporosis. I got to a low normal weight last year finally…113 lbs. I struggle here. The message to lose weight is everywhere. I am the fat one in some of my dance or exercise classes or yoga. It is HARD to love and accept my body, not only because I do have curves now, but because I struggle with thyroid problems, menopause, pains from bad bones. I am not wonder woman with boundless energy. I was castrated. It is hard to let go of regret and mourning for allowing a surgeon to take my ovaries away when I was 33 years old in 2005. I also have social anxiety and pairing my weight down and fat off makes it easier for me to be seen in public and not as self conscious because I don't feel people are judging me as much. I do NOT lose weight easily and am not at my natural weight and have to work incredibly hard to be where I am. I sacrifice time and so much for it. It is hard not to envy the woman in the article, who is healthy and full of life and energy. I am also deeply affected by my Mother's experience and I learned early how unfair and cruel people are. I still think fat shaming is FAR worse than thin shaming, and it is easy to preach loving yourself when you naturally have what everyone wants.

  44. Rinhar says:

    This kinda reminds me of what a friend of mine from college confessed to me once. We first met in a freshmen year ballet class, which we had both taken as an elective. Now, I am naturally thin. I had also been taking ballet since I was four years old, and even though I was never good enough to be a professional, my technique was stronger than most of young women in this class simply because most of them didn't have as much experience.

    This young woman, who would come to be a good friend of mine, was never overweight in the time I knew her. However, she was also not thin. She was…really, "curvy" is the best way to describe her shape. Not thin, not fat. Shorter than I was, a bit thicker in most places. The thing is, she suffered from a very negative body image. In high school, she had struggled with an eating disorder.

    "When I first met you," she confessed to me four years later, "I didn't like you. But only because you were such a good dancer. Then I got to know you."

    …Honestly, I've always felt a little strange about that.

  45. Cristy says:

    AMEN!!!!

  46. beth says:

    I am 47 and 3 children later, still skinny and also get these comments. I’ve seen doctors, been through so many tests, my own family has remarked on my gigure, ppl can be cruel. It is what it is.

  47. Moises says:

    You’re so awesome! I don’t believe I’ve read a single thing like that before.

    So nice to discover somebody with a feew original thoughts on this subject.

    Seriously.. thank you for starting this up.

    This web site is one thing that iis needed on tthe internet, someone with a bit off originality!

  48. Rebekah says:

    Thank you So much for speaking about this taboo topic. I’m thin bc I have a medical condition that severely limits what i can eat. Its painful and so frustrating to watch all your friends eat pizza and u get an apple. I was being bullied at work by a grown ass woman. She’s not fat, but she doesn’t have an hour glass fugure. She DOES however harbor tremendous insecurities that she projected onto me. It’s socially acceptable to be thin, so I took the abuse, but only for so long. I pointed out the error of her ways and she cried and left the office for the day. The truth hurts . We should focus on out words not hurting others, not pointing out their body shape. I’m skinny, thanks, I’m aware. Embrace sisterhood ladies, it’s powerful!

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