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January 29, 2019

The Quote I want to Build my Relationship Around.

 

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A post shared by Waylon Lewis & Friends (@walkthetalkshow) on Jan 26, 2019 at 6:16am PST

“Yours, Mine and Ours” is high on my list of favorite movies—the 1968 version, not that nonsense from 2005.

Starring Henry Fonda and Lucille Ball, the movie loosely follows the real life love story between Frank Beardsley, a widowed father of 10, and Helen North, a widowed mother of eight, who meet, fall in love, marry, and attempt to tackle life with 18 children.

I remember watching it years ago, and while it’s incredibly funny (hello, Lucille Ball!), what struck me most, even when I was younger, was the honest, not-always-pretty portrayal of what life is like when you’re falling in love and combining two lives.

There’s one scene, toward the end of the movie, that includes one of my favorite quotes about love and relationships.

Frank, while trying to rush a very-pregnant-with-child-#19 Helen to the hospital, takes a few minutes to explain what love really is to his teenage stepdaughter.

And it’s the kind of no-nonsense, welcome-to-reality sentiment that I hope to one day build my relationship around:

“It’s giving life that counts. Until you’re ready for it, all the rest is just a big fraud. All the crazy haircuts in the world won’t keep it turning. Life isn’t a love in, it’s the dishes and the orthodontist and the shoe repairman and… ground round instead of roast beef. And I’ll tell you something else: it isn’t going to a bed with a man that proves you’re in love with him; it’s getting up in the morning and facing the drab, miserable, wonderful everyday world with him that counts.”

Sex is great. And romance is nice. But this is the kind of love I want.

Someone who I can do (and want to do) everyday life with. The boring, overwhelming, less-than-sexy stuff. The fussing-about-money, who’s-doing-the-dishes, I’m-tired-let’s-watch-a-movie stuff.

Someone I can create life with—whether that means having kids, starting a business, following a creative passion, or even just breathing life into each other with kind words, motivation, and emotional maturity.

Relationships are hard, and they take more work than most of us realize. But being able to just “be” with someone, to sit and be okay with both the silence and the chaos and everything in between, and still want to do it all the next day, and the day after that—that’s what I’m looking for.

That’s what love is, I think.

~

Check out Henry Fonda’s speech in action:

 

author: Nicole Cameron

Image: Walk the Talk Show/Instagram

Image: YouTube

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Geoff Bugden Feb 4, 2019 6:51am

Wonderful article Nicole, a great quote from a time when movies were more real…

Love is…the invisible, the partnership between two people working together, the unspoken bond between two souls striving forward with compassion & understanding for one another & those around you.

Now to dust of the movie & pop it on for movie night with my girls. Thank you.

Gerard Murphy Jan 31, 2019 3:07pm

Cheers, Nicole for an incisive (and insightful) piece on the nitty-gritty stuff of relationships (that endure) .. I think you nailed it! At the end of the day, having a “moral companioinship” with your significant other (ie, understanding and meeting them in the deepest values they hold), leads to a purer and more transcendant love .. Here’s to you!

dlwilderman Jan 30, 2019 10:33am

Great points and advice for what matters long-term! It’s easy to have fun and romance; what’s more important is how well you work together and support each other day-to-day.

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Nicole Cameron

Nicole Cameron is a lover of words: the simple ones, the powerful ones, the made-up ones, and those of the four-letter variety. She’s also a fan of N.Y. style cheese pizza, trolling the internet for inspiration, and singing loudly in the shower. Her purest, most-functional relationship to date is with her chocolate lab, Leopold. A native New Yorker, who calls Maryland home, Nicole is a late-comer to the travel bug and plans to visit “all the places.” She spends her days trying to live a fun, mindful life, in part through her role as an editor for Elephant Journal, where she feels lucky to connect with others while hanging out on her couch in yoga pants. Oh, and chocolate—she likes that too. Want more words? Connect with her on Facebook and Instagram.