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October 21, 2019

Make Giving Head Great Again. {Adult}

When I first tried to go down on my boyfriend, I was horrified; my only thought was: what if I can’t fit the whole thing in my mouth and I just embarrass myself?

I was staring at it for a while, trying to reconcile the size of his penis with the approximate space available in my mouth, when I finally decided to dive in.

Weird!  Not doing that,  I said. 

The thought of unexpectedly going down on someone you love and feeling the pleasure you’re giving to your partner at that particular moment is indispensable. There’s nothing that would turn me on more than the idea of unbuttoning my partner’s pants and slowly going down on him. I enjoy the taste and the feeling of it in my mouth just as much as the energy it brings.

But for me, it wasn’t love at first sight.

For a while, I treated blow jobs like something I just had to do in order to return the favor when it was time to payback all the great downstairs jobs my boyfriend had been doing for me. It felt dry in my mouth, then too moist and yucky as my saliva would kick in, and eventually, I would just get tired and try to give up.

It took me just over a year to finally discover all the charms of going down on a loved one.

I was always turned on by the idea of blow jobs, yet often found myself squeamish when it would come to real action. I felt that way about everything that went into my mouth, even my own saliva, and therefore I felt particularly inconvenienced by having an actual penis in my mouth. But the truth is, blow jobs can be just as pleasurable as a Popsicle on a summer day. It doesn’t have to be a simple boring thrusting while you’re sitting there on your knees waiting for it to end, and it’s much easier to enjoy when it’s something you feel enthusiastic about, and there are many ways to achieve it.

Use your hands

A blow job is not a competition of the deepest throat. You don’t have to choke on a penis trying to make your boyfriend feel good. As much as you’re able to take without forcing yourself to gag will still bring a lot of pleasure if you combine blow job with a hand job. Just let your hand take care of it while you’re focused on the top, and add some additional sensation by playing with the balls with your other hand.

Go for the whole package

There’s so much more to enjoy and play with when going down on your partner, and balls are no exception.

Blow jobs can be playful. Starting from licking and sucking on the penis itself can completely change the experience for both of you if you suddenly switch to the balls. Trust me, they love and need your attention just as much as the rest of your partner.

The fun thing about balls is that you can actually suck them into your mouth like a vacuum, which can bring a lot of pleasure, even for you.

The key here is to be gentle. Don’t overdo it or give to much pressure; careful licking and sucking are enough to make a difference. After all, balls are just as sensitive inside as our men.

Change the position

Just like sex would most likely become boring if you never switched from your missionary under the blanket, blow jobs would definitely seem less exciting if you never change your regular position. The good news is, just like with sex, there’s a lot of room for creativity and pleasure.

One of the best positions to try is to have your man on top of you. It’s a tricky position to do if you’re not so comfortable with the idea of a penis in your mouth because it puts you less in control, but it also doesn’t leave that much work for you if you’re feeling tired but still want to go for it.

Besides, this position would definitely turn both you and your partner on and can serve as perfect foreplay for sex.

Another way to go is the good old 69. To be fair, I prefer to give all of my attention and energy to my partner as I go down on him, therefore it might be hard for me to open up and concentrate on my own orgasm. But this position would most likely help you out if the idea of giving is not as hot for you as the thought of receiving.

Change the setup

Sex is supposed to be fun, as well as everything that comes with it. I always see people creating their bucket lists filled with all the places where they want to have sex. But for some reason, I’ve never seen anyone being that enthusiastic about blow jobs. As it turns out, giving a blow job in an unexpected place can be even more fun than sex.

I know a lot of people who always wanted to have sex on a plane. It’s edgy, hot, and forbidden. But the truth is, it’s also almost never convenient or comfortable. Most of the time you would get caught, or if you are lucky you’d just create a line of irritated people waiting for you to finish your business in that tiny, spaceless bathroom. Blow jobs, on the other hand, are not that tricky to give even in the cramped space.

Find what works for you

One of the main reasons I was so squeamish about blow jobs at the beginning of my experience with them was what comes after. The idea of swallowing cum might have seemed hot in my fantasy, but was not something I wanted to deal with in reality.

I am not fussy about cum not tasting like ice cream. For me, it has always been about the consistency and the way it feels in my mouth (well, yucky). I would always gag as soon as I felt it, and therefore it felt disgusting for me to both swallow it, or even to spit it out.

But the solution I came to was simple and effective. All I needed all this time was something to drink immediately after. That way it doesn’t feel like something sticky is attacking my tongue, and just like a bitter children’s liquid Advil, even cum can be swallowed with some water or tea.

I believe that letting go of all the stereotypes about blow jobs being a duty, and thinking about what it is about them that can allow you to have just as much fun and pleasure as your partner, can change your whole perception of doing it.

Whether it’s the thought of giving pleasure to someone you love or are turned on by, making their whole body shake and tingle, the sensations you get when you feel and play with the penis (because let’s face it, they are fun, and their skin feels softer than a newborn’s butt), or the fun you get from trying out new positions or places, there is no reason why we shouldn’t be able to make blow jobs great again.

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author: Julia Pyatnitskaya

Image: Photoscarce / Flickr

Editor: Julie Balsiger