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October 20, 2020

Don’t even think about Voting until you Consult your Star Sign. {Weekly Horoscopes*}

 

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Listen, I don’t want to overstate this, but this week’s horoscopes have the potential to change the course of history.

We just had a new moon. We’re heading into a full moon. I think this happens every month, but this cycle is really special.

Plus, the planets are (still, always) moving, and mercury is in retrograde (maybe?).

So buckle-up, celestial lovers, and listen to the moon—or the stars? Something up there. Look at the sky, and listen:

Scorpio:

Scorpios are highly intuitive water signs. So, it might not sit too well with your aqueous soul that the United States ranks 26th in the world on sanitation and drinking water.

What can you do about it this week, you highly-sensitive venomous queen? Read up on all of the environmental regulations the Trump administration has slashed, and check to see if your state has started early voting.

Saggitarius:

Hey there, you impatient wanderer. I hear you like to get out in the world, travel, and crack a good joke. COVID-19 is probably cramping your style a bit, huh? Here’s what you can do this week:

Laugh-cry over some memes about how Trump has handled the pandemic response, meditate for two minutes every morning to soothe your itchy, impatient feet (err…hooves?), and vote down-ballot for science so you can get back out into the world—safely.

Capricorn:

Who said something as insignificant as a fishtail on a goat’s body would get in the way of touching in with your psychic prowess and drive for getting ahead? Not you, Capricorn.

This week, use that know-it-all attitude to join a textbank, phonebank, or virtual event to talk some sense into your fellow voters. @rallyandrise is a great place to start.

Aquarius:

As the humanitarian among celestians (don’t google that word, just go with it), you might be feeling more triggered than normal as you recount the ever-growing number of people the Trump administration has othered, alienated, and abandoned.

This week, find out how you can volunteer and where your revolutionary soul is most needed this election.

Pisces:

I’m told, by a divine apparition from the ether (alt. spelling: internet), that you’re an empath, dear Pisces. You’re compassionate and forgiving, and the world needs a little more of that, but don’t swallow up your own tail in the process.

Your task this week: get a little angry, figure out what’s unforgivable for you, and vote like all those lives you feel so deeply in your scaley soul depend on it—because they do.

Aries:

Aries is a fire sign filled with audacity and ambition. So, too, are the rampant wildfires raging across the United States. You like to be a winner, Aries, and right now your very own Earth is losing.

This week, use Vote Save America’s build your ballot tool to find out what exactly is on your ballot (your non-detail oriented soul can thank them later), make a plan to vote, and send it to that one family member you’ve been avoiding for two months because you know they don’t plan on voting but you haven’t found the courage to tackle that argument yet. Your courage is here, you ram-of-a-champion. Use it.

Taurus:

Taureans! You are my people! Well—my bulls, my grass-eaters (do they have grass in the cosmos?), my lovers-of-septum-piercings.

Here’s the thing, my grazing goddesses—that stability we love, that reliability we crave, is all crumbling down around us. Let out a big huff, you stubborn beast, and then focus: this week, watch “A Life on our Planet,” check your voter registration, and sign up for election reminders so you never miss a beat.

Gemini:

Some might call you two-faced, on account of your having two faces. I wouldn’t dream of it. I call you adaptable, chameleon-esque, and the perfect person(s) to pick up a phone and relate to someone most of us can’t talk to without profanity-laced exasperations.

Your task this week: Use this script to call your representative to make sure election day is as safe as possible for all voters, and try phonebanking in a few key states.

Cancer:

That hard outer shell isn’t fooling anyone, you emotional son-of-a-crab. This week, pick three issues that are most important to you and share ’em on Instagram, or TikTok, or whatever social media your mystical moody soul prefers.

We all like to shield ourselves from those pesky negative vibes, Cancer—but now is the time to open up, lean in, and understand that those highly-sensitive pinchers of yours are actually your greatest tool for empathy. Feel those feels, and vote your vote.

Leo:

As King of the planetary jungle, you can’t be too thrilled with the lies, division, and manipulation stealing the spotlight right now.

This week, read up on the latest fact-checks from the headlines, and use that theatrical attitude of yours to explain to your apathetic stellar-dwellers why voting matters.

Virgo:

Virgos are perfectionists, list-lovers, and have high expectations that leave them feeling a little let down by the rest of us (our bad). But the universe (occasionally referred to as politicalpersonality.org) has a gift for you this week, Virgo: a clear, organized list of ways to get involved before the election that includes giving advice to the rest of us so we make you a little more proud.

It’s what conflict-resolution experts call a win-win-win. Michael Scott would be thrilled.

Libra:

Your balance, harmony, and weigh-y scaley things are all sorts of out of whack right now, Libra. The most likely culprits are the moon getting all impatient and moving in Capricorn, and the lingering chaos from the “hot mess, inside a dumpster fire, inside a train wreck” debate.

Here’s what you can do this week: track your ballot if you’ve voted absentee to make sure it landed safely in the hands of your board of elections, register to vote if you’ve really been dragging your heels and haven’t done it yet and it’s still open in your state, and read this 2020 voting guide to rediscover your sense of equilibrium.

~

*From one highly unqualified, highly cynical, not-really-astrologer to her fellow citizens—take every word above with a hefty grain of salt and stardust, and happy voting.

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