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Why have so many of us attached our self-worth to external circumstances?
It’s because we have forgotten that our value is an intrinsic entity. That it is separate from the outer world; it doesn’t need sh*t from anything or anyone.
And, in a society that praises status, most of us fall victim to the idea. (It’s understandable—we’re human.) We think we are meaningless without our personal accolades in tow: job title, others’ approval, income, the level of education we have obtained.
However, if we ride along this train of thinking, we’re f*cked some days, and other days we’re royalty, with the only constant being that nothing is—we reside in a state of flux. That’s right; by attaching our self-worth to external artifacts, we’re allowing our self-concept to exist in perpetual limbo.
By this same “logic” that our worth is dictated by our ratio of success or lack thereof—job promotions, layoffs, days at the gym, cheat days, and so on—our concept of worth and internal conversations have become toxic.
They might go a little something like this:
“I just was rejected from my dream job, so I guess I am unworthy of the job and self-love.”
“Wow, I just received my dream job. I guess I am worthy. Now I love myself; now, I can enjoy life.”
Is this how you want to live? As a puppet, fastened to strings fabricated by others’ opinions of you?
Are you okay settling as the supporting actor in your own life because you fought with your partner this week?
Or would you rather play the starring role regardless of who or what tries to cast you out of your own screenplay?
It’s up to you.
If you want to continue allowing the outside world to take the wheel, sit back, and be a compliant passenger.
But if you finally want to reign supreme in your own life, then decide—right now—that your worthiness is reliant on you and nothing else. Period.
I challenge you to switch it up this week:
>> Be more concerned with your character when nobody’s watching than your reputation in a room full of people.
>> Measure your success by a different metric—your ability to give unconditional love rather than the hours you’ve clocked in at work.
>> Count the number of days you’ve made yourself feel worthy and confident rather than the number of texts, “likes,” and swipes you’ve received.
Of course, celebrate your relationships and honor your accomplishments. But by the same token, realize your self-worth is not reflective of any force outside of you.
Your worthiness is an inside job, so fire your negative self-talk, hire more positive thinking, and promote your damn self.