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March 21, 2021

The “Gender Pain-Gap”: it’s time for Mindful Men to Join the Conversation.

Toxic masculinity is a big topic these days, but what about the counterpart: Mindful Men?

Unfortunately, both groups often get mixed up. Most of us have met the flirty yoga teacher, the reckless mindfulness coach, or the manipulative Romeo.

There are countless authentic reports of women who got emotionally hurt by their partners, but not so many male voices describing their heartbreaks and vulnerabilities in a genuine way.

It is safe to say that humans tend to upset other humans in personal relationships—this has nothing to with gender. Yet, there seems to be more literature expressing the struggles of women in relationships. Let’s call it the “Gender Pain-Gap.”

Online movements like “Men Going Their Own Way” (MGTOW) try to fill that gap, but develop a misogynistic undertone. But I have to admit that I have read articles that come across as the female counterpart to this toxic approach.

My main goal is to shift the conversation in a different direction. It is not about discussing if it’s more the women’s or men’s fault that we see a rise in divorce rates, domestic violence, and abuse. I would like to address this as a human interested in looking at all aspects of dynamics in society at play—and men need to be part of this conversation.

I strongly believe that men need to spend time understanding the basic demands of feminism, but I also feel that women could benefit from hearing the other side of the story. As a society, we can only solve problems if we all work on them together—and not against each other.

But, if we want to change the world and be of benefit, we have to start with ourselves. Therefore, as a man, I am inviting all our male authors to share their voices with us.

Let’s explore the struggles of being lonely. 

Let’s explore the difficulties of finding a balance between vulnerability and self-confidence.

Let’s explore addiction and its connection to trauma. 

Let’s explore narcissism and commitment issues in relationships. 

Let’s explore what is of benefit and what is not. 

Obviously, this list is subject to change. Dear men, we cannot wait to hear your story. Have you been labelled as a narcissist, manipulator, or macho-man?

This is not meant to create a platform to collect lame excuses for toxic behavior. Our goal shall be to share our mindful vision on creating a society that is free of sexism and toxic masculinity—and hopefully start a conversation that will benefit everyone.

When we share our stories, we connect with others who might have gone through similar experiences. It gives us the opportunity to move forward and learn from our mistakes. And most importantly, it is adding a new voice to a much-needed conversation.

Let’s try our best to have a mindful conversation on what being a Mindful Man actually means (and what doesn’t).

~

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