Part of cl-iteracy, which is to be clitorally literate.
To be literate with something is to know it, to have knowledge of it. And to be able to read it, to understand it.
That on its own is a lot. To know her clitoris, this pearl of pleasure. To know its anatomy—to know how its context connects to a woman, to her body, her heart. And to know how to pleasure, the limitless possibilities of pleasure, this jewel. Which is what the French call her clitoris, bijou, a jewel.
And to read it, to read her body, her energy. To be intimate, connected, and aware enough to listen; to feel, to hear with your touch, your heart, your energy, what she’s telling you.
To feel the pulsation that begins in her clitoris and spreads throughout her body. The pulsation that begins with one tap of your finger.
“Clitoral Pulsation” is a technique, a practice, and much more.
It’s part of a bigger experience, a clitoral massage, where healing and pleasure meet.
Here’s something about sexual technique. They’re portals, doorways, keys. A technique on its own, as many as you may learn, do not make you a better lover, they give you some information, they show you a possibility. If all that you have is technique, and the routine that the technique has, it’s robotic, and it’s often ego. When we understand that it’s simply giving us an idea, a direction, a possibility, and that every woman is different, and is different every day, we’re beginning to learn.
The power is in the connection, in the heart, in the energy, in presence. In listening, feeling, communicating. In touching this jewel in a way that acknowledges its delicacy and its strength.
Having said that, there’s no step-by-step, no particular protocol for these Cl-itoral Pulsations. It’s more intuitive, more about watching and listening, feeling your lover’s body, response, and energy. This is what makes you a better lover, an amazing lover. Simply being present, being connected.
The pulsations give a jolt of sensation, of pleasure. And then, you wait. The energy of that spreads from her clitoris through her yoni, through her body.
There are many ways to do this, but let’s start here.
I love eye gazing and the connection it brings us to—the intimacy that draws us into each other.
Then maybe a heart connection: put your hand on her heart, hers on yours. Flow the energy from your heart to hers, hers to yours.
Lay your lover down, sit where you’re comfortable. Spread some oil or lube over her yoni, and rest your hand there, breathe.
Feel as if your hand is melting into her body.
This feeling of being held gives such safety and comfort; it allows relaxation, openness, welcoming.
Caress your lover’s yoni, her lips, just above her pubic bone.
Right in the middle of her pubic bone is a spot of amazing sensitivity, it’s right at the top of her clitoris. Rub this point gently, slowly.
Allow her arousal to build, her body to soften, to begin to open, allow the energy of pleasure to flow.
Take time, give time.
Then tap your finger once on her clitoris.
Do it again.
Hold the shaft of her clitoris between your fingers, over the hood.
Pulsate, squeeze your fingers together gently, wait.
Move closer to the head, with a squeeze each time.
As she becomes more aroused you’ll be able to do that harder, and harder.
That jewel, in its fullness, will often surprise you with the strength of touch it wants.
Tap on the head, breathe, do it again, do it again, build that, starting slowly, going faster, to a drumming. stop.
Pulsate on the spot between her clitoris and yoni opening, the U-Spot, this can be so sensitive. Push against the bone there, pause.
Tap all around the opening of her yoni.
On her perineum.
Pulsate on her clitoris and U-Spot at the same time.
Different pressure; different rhythms.
Hold your finger still on the head of her clitoris, make your arm stiff, so stiff that it vibrates through your finger.
The pulsations are energy.
Going deeper, deeper, into the ocean of sensation.