One need not go too far down the Google rabbit hole to find articles on the attributes of 30-day sex challenges for married couples trying to improve things at home.
But what happens when two total strangers meet and immediately do the same thing?
Sounds pretty exciting, doesn’t it? When my new partner and I met at a coffee shop at the end of April, we hit it off better than I could have ever expected in my wildest dreams.
The date began in the afternoon and went until the night almost turned into the A.M. Before I made the sojourn home, we had sex the first time.
We didn’t really feel as if we were rushing into anything. The coffee and the walk in the rain felt like our first date. After we changed out of our soaking wet clothes, meeting later for dinner felt a lot like a second date.
So when I drove her home and came in, it felt like we kept a sense of propriety afforded by the famed three-date rule.
Or, at least, we like to think so.
The next day we texted each other and decided that it was so much fun, we should get together again after work that day. And we did.
And so began our very own 30-day challenge.
Here are a few things we discovered:
1. Do I Have Muscles There, Too?
Okay, so yes, the first thing we both noticed is that there are muscles in the human body that (excuse the pun) lay practically dormant until you either slip on ice or start having sex every day. There is nothing to fear, though. After the first week, those muscles get used to being dutiful participants; they quiet down and join the other muscles you use regularly.
2. Excellent Sleep
My closest friends will back me up on this: I had financial stuff going on in March and much of April that caused me to suffer from insomnia. I have never had insomnia before, so I found the problem to be annoying and dangerous. My life and the lives of those I come in contact with are somewhat dependent upon my getting a decent night’s sleep. I no longer dealt with any issues around insomnia once I began having sex each and every day.
3. The Antidepressant Effect
As a midwife, my lover once explained to me the importance of skin-on-skin contact when it came to the overall health outcomes for newborns. Sometime after the second week that we were together, it became apparent that we had this 30-day goal. We both noticed that we, too, were experiencing an increased sense of well-being.
I realize, of course, that it seems obvious that anyone getting laid every day would be thrilled as a matter of course, but our observation went a little deeper. It wasn’t simply instant gratification. It was a constant feeling of joy, like the antidepressant we all wish for.
4. The Super Libido
One of the most mysterious things about having a lot of sex is that it causes you to just want more. It makes sense, doesn’t it? When your body sees a good thing, it has a tendency to want more of it. Given that a daily sex ritual has been proven to reduce stress, improve memory, boost immunity and increase your overall well-being, it almost seems like a survival instinct to crave it more.
5. Falling in Love
Yes, people can do the “friends with benefits” thing, but for many sensitive and caring folk, it is practically guaranteed that having sex every day for a month will lead to falling deeply in love. At least, it did for us. And we are both happier than we have been in a long time.
As we became closer throughout this past month, my lover and I discovered that we have both been involved with partners who have made us feel shame and insecurity about our almost insatiable sexual appetites.
More than anything else we have both learned this month, we realized for the first time that it is entirely possible to find the perfect person for you, whoever you happen to be, as long as you keep the possibility open.
And let go.
As I posited in an earlier article, we two only found each other after we had both gotten comfortable with the idea of being happy alone. I don’t totally understand why this is a universal law; I just know that it is.