August 1, 2021

A Kiss is Not just a Kiss: 5 Ways to Create Affection & Bonding.


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I remember my first kiss like it was yesterday.

We sat on a cement block behind the ferris wheel at the carnival while our friends were off in a circle a few feet away. He was a few years older than me and one of the popular boys.

He asked if I’ve ever been kissed before. I shook my head fanatically side to side, cooling my flushed face from his question instead of using my voice.

“Do you want to kiss me?”

I was surprised by his boldness. I refused to look him in the eye when I quietly said okay.

“Stand up,” he said softly.

I complied.

I stood there not knowing what to do with my hands the moment he came in for the kiss. It was awkward, uncomfortable, and rather disgusting.

His breath smelled like bologna, and it took everything I had not to gag when he stuck his slimy tongue into my mouth.

I was 12. Neither one of us knew what the hell we were doing. I wasn’t mentally ready to experience such an intimate moment. I felt forced and rushed because the world around me was already there. I remember thinking I never wanted to do this again.

But eventually, I grew into the kissing thing—a kiss is an intimate moment shared between two people showing love, care, and affection.

After a million and one kisses later (and still counting), kissing is one of the most intoxicating actions we can partake in—and I freaking love it.

To kiss and be kissed is f*cking exhilarating.

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His soft lips against mine. His playful tongue teasing me. His addicting sweet cinnamon breath.

Each and every kiss has meaning and purpose. Kissing in itself affects the brain, causing a chemical reaction. It stirs up feelings of affection and attachment.

But not every kiss means the same thing.

A kiss is not just a kiss—it’s so much more. In my experience, there are five types of kissing:

1. The friendly kiss is to the point and strictly platonic in the most innocent way. We kiss our family and friends with joyful hellos and I’ll miss you goodbyes. It’s that one cheek kiss that says they mean so much more to us than just a hug alone.

It’s to tell our loved ones that they matter. It’s sending a message of love and happiness that they are in our lives. Those kisses are caring and filled with love from our hearts.

2. The sweet kiss is gentle and says we may be interested in a connection. Those kisses are tender and meaningful.

It’s saying they are more than a friend and we want to get to know them. It actually melts our hearts. It includes the sweet kiss on the forehead to show we care.

It’s a make-out session that makes us feel all giggly inside and out. It’s backed up with the thrilling anticipation of where the relationship might go.

3. The sexy kiss is playful and alluring. It’s saying I’m attracted to you, and you’re about to get lucky.

This kiss is fast and hard. It’s fun and exciting. But it lacks feeling and heart.

It’s hot. It’s sexy. It’s really good. But there is only one purpose for it: it’s to get us ready for sex—nothing more.

4. The goodbye kiss is sad, long, and slow. It’s saying we are letting them go forever, but we’ll never forget them.

It is lip on lip. It’s tender. It’s caring.

It’s our final goodbye to a love once shared.

5. The passionate kiss is deep and explosive. It’s the kind of kiss that actually takes our breath away. It’s the most intense make-out session that we can feel all over our bodies. We can actually feel the love erupt. It awakens every fiber within ourselves.

We get completely lost, unsure which end is up or down, and it makes our knees go weak. Nothing in this world matters in those moments. This kissing can last for hours until our lips hurt in the most delicious way.

It’s saying I f*cking love you deep within my soul. It’s a connection of body, mind, and soul—and all goddamn heart.

This kiss actually hurts to stop. It’s intense. It’s real. It’s magical.

Some kisses are one-sided. It’s the kiss I choose to give. I kiss my children every day. They do not kiss me back. But I’ll never stop kissing them.

Some kisses are received. It’s the kiss someone decides to give us. The sweet old neighbor who kisses us on the hand to thank us for shoveling his driveway.

And other kisses are two people at the exact moment giving and receiving the same type of kiss to each other, which causes intense fireworks.

A kiss, no matter what type of kiss, makes us feel incredible. It shows affection and bonding between the people in our lives.

Let’s kiss and be kissed—a lot. It’s f*cking mind-blowing.



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