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August 11, 2021

F*ck Orgasm: Sex is about Power.

 

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Sex is a journey with the promise of a glorious end.

And neither logic nor the law of gravity can derail the force of orgasm. It’s so powerful and irresistible.

Every touch triggers a shiver, and every moan confirms a thrust. Our bodies become instruments, creating a rhythm of beating hearts. Stricken by jolts of pleasure and desire, individuals dance to the tune of each other’s breaths and movements like a pulsating symphony.

Magic is the word that encapsulates the experience.

Once the apple is bitten, however, nothing remains the same—not our body, not the relationship with whomever we’ve given consent and access, and certainly not our perception of life.

We become the animals that we are, guided by feral instincts on a jolly ride filled with pleasures beyond description, unraveling mental and physical insecurities, while assuming shapes of unthinkable dimensions. Under this cloud of riveting wonder, neither height nor weight, nor location and space pose any real or lasting challenge.

Submerged in sexual ecstasy, our spiritual antennas ignite deep-rooted vibrations, sparking a fire that binds soul and spirit—and consumes mind and body. The deeper we go, the faster this phantom fire burns, as passion usurps logic on the highway to a glorious climax.

Relief…sweet f*cking relief is the reward.

For an act so rapturous and divine, sex does provoke a hellish paradox. It’s one of a select group of experiences which derives its value from its commonness—breathing is another.

Despite its intensity, sexual pleasure is fleeting, which makes sex a nugatory exercise powered by sentiment. It’s no surprise our collective view of sex is deteriorating by the day.

Interestingly, the results of sex carry more substance and long-term implications than the act—pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases or infections are possible outcomes. Another telling result of this natural form of intimacy is the psychological bond and spiritual passage created afterwards, which many of us seem to disregard.

Oscar Wilde once said, “Everything in the world is about sex—except sex; sex is about power.”

From my understanding, this isn’t just any power—this is the personal power connected to our psyche, a set of core beliefs and experiences which make up our truth and enforce our self-worth.

Personal power is also the mental rigidity to make goal-driven decisions, and stand by them with courage and grace, no matter the obstacle or result.

During sex, we trade our personal power on the emotional exchange market—and it’s either exchanged mindfully or surrendered irresponsibly. Depending on what we choose, we could lose mental and spiritual wealth—time and patience-based investments—in a matter of minutes, pursuing fleeting pleasures.

F*ck orgasm; sex is about power.

From foreplay to copulation, and eventual climax, every mental fire sparked affects our emotional and psychological framework. Taking off our clothes during sex symbolizes letting down our guard, exposing our weaknesses and insecurities. And this mindless action could see us leave the experience damaged, drained, and disempowered—stripped of essence and left with a devalued sense of self-worth.

Power is about exercising influence and control, and the last thing anyone needs after a steamy round of sex is an emotional inquiry into their bodily engagements—an inquiry over their personal power transactions. But a question we should all ask ourselves after sex is:

Have I come out of the experience with more or less of myself?

During sex, everyone shares. But if you are not receiving, you are losing your personal power. It’s not rocket science.

Reciprocity is the name of the game during sex—the unreserved and mindful offering of ourselves. It’s an honest exchange with mutual intention and benefit. But free will overrules every other rule, making each player responsible for their own application, exploration, and enjoyment.

Depending on the dynamic of the relationship, participants may choose to ignore the signs they shouldn’t be having sex in the first place, making them easy prey or deadly predators—the duality of a distorted reality linked with trauma and internal wounds.

It’s all a mess, but who do we to blame?

Society is keen on reducing the visible and devastating impact of alcohol and tobacco on our roads and lungs, but ignoring the sociopsychological harm caused by sexualizing and objectifying the human body.

Sex is never about having an explosive orgasm—that’s just a perk. Sex is about building intimacy and strengthening deep-rooted connections like trust, compassion, and empathy. And all these internal virtues form the well from which we draw the strength needed to stand firm in our power against manipulative bullies who infringe on our boundaries.

We need to stand in our power to enjoy this wonderful gift of nature in its fullness.

By not doing so, we are shortchanging ourselves, swapping long-term benefits for instant reward. And like junkies, we keep coming back for more and more in an endless circle of delusion.

For every emotional transaction we make, especially through sex, there is a soul book needing reconciliation. And if the books don’t balance—if we don’t feel enough and worthy just as we are—we’ll never reach the end of our sexual journey, no matter how many f*cking orgasms we have.

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