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October 1, 2021

Getting off the “Never Enough” Wagon & Finding our Life’s Purpose

 

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I wake up with an empty feeling inside my soul.

This happens often. I don’t really know what causes it. It’s just a feeling that I am completely insignificant in this world.

Other days, my head hits the pillow and I feel defeated, comparing myself to people I love and consider successful beings. I always thought I came here to be someone, to add to this world, to build a legacy that will surpass the passing of time, and yet, here I am doing the dishes, saying good night with a fake smile, and having an empty pit in my stomach the size of Texas.

Some days, no matter how many hours I work, how many people I uplift, how much quality time I give to myself or others, I feel as if I have accomplished nothing at all. As if I am wasting God’s precious gift of life.

We have this one life, one opportunity, and here we are in the middle of the night—check and listing everything we have not done yet.

I put my heart and soul into being the best mother I know how to be. I put my children first. I provide them with a lovely home. I prepare nice warm meals. I give them hugs and kisses to show them how much I love them. Yet there are days when I feel like the biggest failure. Some days, I don’t know what the hell I am doing. Other days, I cry for hours because I’m probably screwing them up somehow. That I haven’t done enough to help them grow into functioning adults.

I feel disconnected. I feel powerless.

I love my friends with everything I have. But there are times when I feel as if I haven’t been able to show them how much I care. My life, work, and children take up a majority of my time. I’m missing long periods of time with the people in my life who will be here till the end. I haven’t done enough for our friendship. I feel alone. I feel exhausted.

My passion is writing. I think about writing all day, every day. I am literally writing in my head as I conduct my day-to-day chores. It feels beneficial to write it all down for the world to see. But there are times when no one is reading those words.

Does anyone even care about what I have to say? I don’t feel worthy enough to even share my stories with the world. I feel uninspired. I feel afraid.

I give my romantic relationships all of me. My love, support, and encouragement. But I struggle because I don’t think I am doing enough for myself or for the other person. I give up way too early. There is nothing special about me for anyone. I am imperfect. I am not enough.

The world says we are enough. But what happens when we feel like we aren’t? When we look around and our value feels small, diminished?

We have the opportunity to add to our self-worth. But let’s not confuse that with being perfect or having our emotions in check. It is not about fulfilling other people’s expectations.

We can be loving and attentive, yet we can also have doubts, insecurities, and fears of losing ourselves.

We can help our family in the best way we can and still feel as if it doesn’t really make that much of a difference.

Regardless of what each of our stories might be, some of us may experience feeling small in this gigantic world.

We place our life’s purpose into a plan based on what others tell us it should be. Almost like we must only use certain ingredients to make a perfect life. If things don’t go according to our plan, we feel like a failure.

It’s time to drop what our life’s purpose should be.

Our ego plays a huge role in feeling insignificant. Our ego can seriously screw with our head. Our ego is our sense of self-esteem and self-importance. It defines who we are and how we connect with others, including the world around us. Our ego can become overpowering and cause us to feel insignificant.

When we don’t recognize ourselves, we search for recognition in others. We long to know we are needed. To feel important. But we can make a difference in our hearts today by being open to seeing the beauty of who we are and choosing what is best for us.

That is where growth happens.

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We have the notion that life should be smooth or that love should be received as we expect, otherwise it is not enough. That difficulty brings only suffering. In reality, our personal growth, our strength, and our character come from those difficulties. Those moments when we feel we can’t rise up to the challenge.

We find perseverance when we don’t know how to keep going.

We are willing to struggle because we are sick to death of living with what is just enough. We want greatness and abundance for us and for our family.

Let’s talk about what actually matters.

Practicing gratitude.

Practicing gratitude can change everything. It will improve our mental health and our relationship with others. If we live our life with gratitude, it helps us notice the little things. Life is filled with moments. If we notice the little things, it becomes a life filled with beautiful moments. And it makes our entire life purposeful.

The little things are not so little at all.

Being kind to ourselves.

Kindness can make the world a better place. It boosts feelings of confidence, happiness, and optimism. It also encourages others to do the same, which contributes to a more positive community.

Sometimes a caress to someone’s heart does a lot more than to kick someone’s butt to keep them going.

Being mindful of our emotions.

Mindfulness helps relieve stress and improves our sleep habits and mental health. They are all necessary to keep our emotions rejuvenated, healthy, and strong. To do what is right for us. To choose what adds to our lives.

To choose with care is to make a decision based on love. Nothing is more powerful than loving mindfulness.

Forgiving ourselves and others. 

Forgiving involves our decision to let go of anger and resentment. It’s about embracing forgiveness and moving forward, which helps us to obtain healthier relationships.

Forgiving involves everything that hasn’t gone as we expected it to be, yet has brought us valuable lessons.

Helping others.

Helping others improves our interaction with the world. It distracts us from our own problems and it grows our self-esteem. This all leads to increased social integration and allows people to live a more active life.

We didn’t come to this world alone. From the moment we were born, we were instantly surrounded by millions and millions of people around the globe. We are meant for connection.

We feel so great when we add to a person’s life because our purpose is to serve.

Who are the first and most important judges to decide if we are making a difference? We know the answer: it’s inside us, burning deep in our chest. It’s us.

We are all significant in this world.

For us to exist, for us to be conceived, billions of billions of actions and miracles had to happen. The result? You are here. We are here. We exist.

We made a difference when someone wakes up every day and drinks a cup of coffee from the mug we bought for them.

We made a difference when we thought of our mom while on vacation.

We made a difference when someone sits on a long train ride and smiles at a joke we once told.

We made a difference when it is not our best day, yet we smile and show kindness to others because we want them to smile.

We made a difference when someone’s heart beats a little faster when they think of us.

We made a difference when we opened our hearts and took a chance on love.

We made a difference when someone heard a song on the radio that reminds them of us.

We made a difference when we called a friend for no other reason than to find out how they were doing.

We made a difference when someone loves themselves a little more because of that compliment we gave them.

We made a difference that moment when someone wiped away their tears and held their head high because we believed in them and encouraged them not to give up.

We are making a difference in this world.

The mark we leave behind with every action we make cannot be erased. We have made a difference in someone’s life. We have made a difference in this world.

We can choose every single day to make a difference in ourselves. To see the beauty and the greatness within and how our light makes this world shine.

If one heart decides to embrace its light, the world becomes instantly brighter.

Feel it. Believe it. Show it. Live it.

We are f*cking significant.

~

For more from Sharon.

For more from Michelle

 

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Sharon D. & Michelle G.

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