June 3, 2022

Failed Relationships: 5 Unexpected Lessons they Teach us.


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It was late afternoon on a Friday, and the weekend feels were pulsing through my veins.

Music played softly in the background as I shut down my computer to end the long work week.

As I stood up from my chair, my phone alerted me of a new incoming text. I picked up my phone to a message from a friend who wanted to know if I was dating anyone.

Those words sometimes still pulled at my heart a bit. (I can’t believe I actually have to say that I’m single and alone; it still feels so foreign to me.)

I typed “nope” and waited for her response as those three little bubbles on the text filled my head with curiosity.

“Are you interested in meeting a friend of mine?”

It was a setup. I had hesitated before I responded.

It wasn’t all that long ago that I felt like a failure because my long-time relationship ended. I put everything I had into making it work, but it ended, leaving me completely heartbroken.

I held on to that heartbreak and played the victim all so well. I shut down my heart so that I would never have to feel that pain again. I cursed the world around me at the sh*t hand I was dealt. And I moved about with caution in everything I did when it came to my heart.

I did that for so long that it almost felt worse than failing at my relationship. I was punishing myself for failing at something. Instead of realizing it was just something that had happened. It was just something that hadn’t worked.

With everything else in my life, I often used failure to become stronger. Why wasn’t I doing this with my love life?

So it took a lot of inner healing, but I was able to pick up the pieces of myself and reenter the world in my new life as a single woman with a newfound look on love—my way.

I didn’t know if this setup would amount to anything, but I was willing to see where it went.

“Yes.” I responded with confidence.

Opening our hearts after restarting our lives is scary as f*ck. But it can also be pretty f*cking beautiful.

The lessons we’ve learned from our failed relationships can bring us to our greatest relationship yet.

Growing into something better.

Failed relationships teach us things about ourselves—things we may never have discovered about ourselves. Maybe we suck at communication or we have attachment tendencies. Or maybe we choose the wrong partner based off of things we carried with us from our childhood.

Our failed relationships can teach us our most important lessons yet. They make us stronger, wiser, and even a bit sweeter.

Don’t let our failed relationships close us off to the world around us. Use them to become stronger and happier, which we bring into a new relationship.

Confidence in knowing who we are.

Experiencing life—the good times, the bad times, and even our failures have a way of making us comfortable in our own skin. We learn who we are, what we are about, and we appreciate who we have become. Our confidence has a way of shining a light into the world. We are smarter, sexier, funnier, and will attract the same type of people into our lives. Someone more of a match, bringing us true happiness the second time around.

Confidence in ourselves brings out our authentic self. When we are authentic, we are better able to find a relationship more suitable to who we are now and the love we desire.

Knowing back then what we know now.

Knowledge is everything. This is the time of our lives where we can actually use the knowledge we have gained with our experiences and use it in our current situation.

We get a redo to do it right this time around. We know more about ourselves and what we want.

Appreciation for the things that really matter.

Coming from a failed relationship hurts a heck of a lot. But with pain comes appreciation for the things that actually matter. We appreciate the little things that we somehow missed the first time around. Things we didn’t understand before become clear with someone new. It’s the foundation for a successful relationship, better than we ever imagined.

It opens us up to accepting what someone new can bring to the relationship, providing us with happiness.

A match made in heaven.

We are not the same person we were. The new us is different. Our goals have changed. We have grown into the person we are meant to be, and we now get a shot at finding a better fit for who we are today.

We break away from what we knew and find something better. We take all the lessons from that failed relationship and go after something better.

Our failed relationships will turn us into better partners and bring us to the right person. That right person will be someone to spend the rest of our lives with.

The past has already finished its course. All we can do is look to the here and now and what our future holds.

Love can be sweeter the second time around.

Not everyone we encounter will be our person. But we can’t get there unless we take a chance.

All we need to do is open our hearts to the possibilities. Our greatest relationship is still out there waiting for us.



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