March 10, 2023

5 Helpful Tips to Keep your Cool with People who just Don’t Get You.

Here is the reality of life: We fight to hang on. We fight to let go. We fight to keep our cool. We fight until we’re seeing red. We fight against ourselves. We fight with each other.

And if everything we’ve been led to believe is true, all of these things are killing us slowly. We humans are so fragile, so fallible, so wounded, traumatized, deeply hurt. We are desperate for recognition, truth, and justice, but we’re forever vulnerable, open to criticism and ridicule, and endlessly defending ourselves.

For whom? For someone else? Why the heck are we doing this to ourselves, every single time?

Whatever happened to grace, decorum, and using tact in our relationships? Don’t people think before they speak anymore? Why are some folks so quick to judge and mock and then wear that smug look that reads “I’m so much better than you will ever be?”

The reason is: human nature.

In a few months time, I will be turning 51. I do enjoy the wisdom I continue to collect on my journey through life and living on planet Earth. One thing’s for sure: you don’t have to waste any additional time on people who will simply never get you.

If you’re fighting to hang on, or let go, if you keep losing your cool, if you’re feeling aggressive, resentful, or angry, this list of five tips may help you to gracefully part ways with the people who don’t get you:

1. Drop it like it’s hot. 

This expression works very well when it comes to confrontations. You simply don’t need to add more fuel to the fire; you can politely excuse yourself from any conversation or situation without any danger of hurting the other person’s feelings. So the next time you feel your blood boil, remember that sometimes less is more and no response is a response.

2. Always remember that success is the best revenge. 

You never have to prove anything to anyone, but when you feel good about yourself, when you know deep down that no one can ever divert you from your life’s purpose, that’s called success. Money, material things, people—all of these things are fleeting, but true, inner success is everlasting.

3. Keep this cute adage in mind, “Not my circus. Not my monkeys.”

There are just certain arguments that you may never win. So instead of losing your sh*t, take a moment and consider your role in the confrontation you’re having. Why must you contribute to conversations that frustrate you and cause you to lose your temper? If you become triggered, you have to walk away. Let others vent without losing your patience. Sometimes, it’s more than okay to simply be a listener.

4. Weed your garden.  

Spring is approaching, and with it comes the cleaning, the pruning, and the sprucing. The same theory can be applied to your relationships. People will always change and grow, and you need to keep your side of the street clean. If someone no longer fits into your “garden,” it’s okay to admit that you’ve outgrown them. Just be as diplomatic and polite as possible when making the decision to part ways.

5. Have the courage to be brutally honest.

No more beating around the bush! You have to become laser-focused in your thoughts, soft in your delivery, and forthright with the people you care about. Your true community members will always honor your boundaries and check in with you. The “fair weather” folks will certainly come and go, but through trial and error, you will only gravitate toward the people who give you energy and support.

Always keep your head about you and love yourself enough to let go of everything that no longer serves a purpose for you.


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