“This is the single best Ask Amy response I’ve ever read.”

Via on May 10, 2014

Bonus: see True Christianity, below.

 

“We’re all very active churchgoers, while she only sporadically attends services.”

A reader comment: “Jesus hung out with lepers, but God forbid she hang out with her sister who ‘doesn’t fit in.

sad sister

“She’s Amy Dickinson and in addition to her post she is also a regular panel member on NPR’s Wait, Wait…Don’t Tell Me. Nicely available on podcasts if you’re like me and enjoy listening to humorous banter on the train.”

 

This is true Christianity:

Relephant reads:

Why Jesus was…Liberal?
> Poet Slams Religion but Preaches Jesus.
In Seach of a New Church Home: Unitarian Universalism.
Waylon Lewis interviews Sister Helen Prejean, woman behind Dead Man Walking, at Naropa.
Real Christians.

~

Another classic: Source.

DEAR AMY: I recently discovered that my son, who is 17, is a homosexual. We are part of a church group and I fear that if people in that group find out they will make fun of me for having a gay child.

He won’t listen to reason, and he will not stop being gay. I feel as if he is doing this just to get back at me for forgetting his birthday for the past three years — I have a busy work schedule.

Please help him make the right choice in life by not being gay. He won’t listen to me, so maybe he will listen to you. — Feeling Betrayed

DEAR BETRAYED: You could teach your son an important lesson by changing your own sexuality to show him how easy it is. Try it for the next year or so: Stop being a heterosexual to demonstrate to your son that a person’s sexuality is a matter of choice — to be dictated by one’s parents, the parents’ church and social pressure.

I assume that my suggestion will evoke a reaction that your sexuality is at the core of who you are. The same is true for your son. He has a right to be accepted by his parents for being exactly who he is.

When you “forget” a child’s birthday, you are basically negating him as a person. It is as if you are saying that you have forgotten his presence in the world. How very sad for him.

Pressuring your son to change his sexuality is wrong. If you cannot learn to accept him as he is, it might be safest for him to live elsewhere.

A group that could help you and your family figure out how to navigate this is Pflag.org. This organization is founded for parents, families, friends and allies of LGBT people, and has helped countless families through this challenge. Please research and connect with a local chapter.

Relephant reading:

>Judeo-Christianity & Islam on how to handle Aggression.
The New Reformation!
Misrepresented Jesus.
What Crucifixion Means.
Bible forbids Homosexuality?
Do you believe the Bible is literally true?

Bonus:

Three Bible passages that may blow your mind (in a good way).

18 Life Lessons I Want My Daughters to Hear.

A Christianity about love and compassion:

Walk the Talk Show: Sister Helen Prejean from Alex King on Vimeo.

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140 Responses to ““This is the single best Ask Amy response I’ve ever read.””

  1. Erica Bee says:

    This put a much needed smile on my face. Thanks so much for sharing!

  2. joe says:

    Really a true passive-aggressive reaction to someone with whom she does not agree.

  3. Fran says:

    Great response…I am still smiling…I would love to know what Sad Sister’s answer to that is or was…

  4. larry dague says:

    I wonder if Sad Sister is the same ***** who wrote the letter about the one year old’s birthday party….a list of four things they wanted and then a demand that anyone not buying those for things include a receipt because they were losing an average of $80 dollars on returns without receipts. There are some real shitty, self centered people in this world….Sad Sister is one of them….sociopath

  5. Amy Gazin says:

    My name is Amy (ironically) and something very similar happened to me which involved my half sister and even my identical twin sister. Yes, you read that coorectly. The two grown women planned a girl’s trip to Paris and never asked me to join them. When they first planned the trip I was bed bound recovering from a broken leg. The trip was supposed to take place 7 months from the time I had broken my leg which meant not only could I go on the trip it would have been a great motivator for me in terms of keeping up with physical therapy, etc. When I did confront these two grown women they gave me a lame excuse that ‘I would not be able to keep up on the trip.’ They were defensive and kept deflecting their accountability. It was so hurtful. Several of my close girlfriends caught on to what was happening and they were just dismayed at the insensitivity and selfishness of these two sisters of mine. Eventually, my half sister went on the trip and my twin didn’t go because she could not afford it. I think she only accepted so she could ‘trump’ me in the sister department. However, I have learned the art of forgiveness with these two because it is better for me in the long run. But, I now have a better understanding of their ‘true colors’ and have really lowered my expectations when it comes to them, that way I am not hurt as easily as before. Honestly, some people in this world have kind and giving hearts while others simply do not and probably never will. You can’t change family but you do not have to be continually hurt by them either. What has worked for me is keeping my distance and keeping my expectations low when it comes to them. Wow, thank you for letting me vent. I didn’t nit know this kind of behavior happened with others sisters…

  6. the excluded one says:

    Not real? Trust me, this goes on all the time and I have lived the exclusion. Interesting that they would include cousins and even a sister-in-law, but not a sister?! And to mention that their religious beliefs make them similar? Pew warming doesn't full anyone other than the ones warming. Intolerance is alive and well with this crew. The one intentionally excluded was actually given a gift with that exclusion. Doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt, because it does.

  7. No pat answers says:

    I have 4 sisters and I have different relationships with each of them. I am especially close to the one farthest in age from me as I doted on her since she was born. Her children are like my grandchildren. Am I required to invite all my sisters whenever we do something? I don't expect my sisters to invite me to everything- and I know they haven't. One sister in particular is very difficult- has always had trouble with bosses, coworkers, and people in general, with very little insight into her behaviors that cause this. I invite her to things I know she would enjoy, and sometimes she says she'll come, then doesn't show up and my kids wonder why. She gets hurt if she's not invited to everything but many times her behavior spoils other's enjoyment. It's a tough situation, certainly not one that has a pat answer of "she's your sister so you must put up with her bad behavior because you claim to be a Christian".

  8. no sugar coating says:

    Amy's response is spot on. All she is saying is SAD sister does not have to invite Wendy, that is her choice BUT that Wendy has a right to be upset which she does. She's family after all, it sucks to be the black sheep..period. And why SAD sister brings in the church thing just makes her look bad which is why Amy throws that back at her. You can make your butt as flat as you want to sitting in that pew, but it doesn't make you any more of a Christian.

  9. Jan Meyrick says:

    I can only imagine the pain that the excluded sister is feeling. However, in the long run, she is far better off without them. I have experienced people like that, unfortunately, mostly in Christian prayer groups and women’s societies etc. I firmly believe that you reap what you sow and at some point in their mean narrow minded lives they will experience the same pain. I also believe that there are lessons that God wants us to learn and whether we learn them the easy way or the hard way is up to us. I hope and pray that Wendy finds friends that will fill the void that her bitchy sisters and cousins have carved out for her.

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