“Hi Gabriela, how are you feeling? This is MD Medical Group following up with you. Your COVID-19 test results came back positive.”
My heart dropped. I heard my kids’ laughter coming from the other room, my eyes filled with tears, and I could only think, “How?”
I’d been sitting at home since Saturday with odd symptoms. My chest was feeling tight like I was holding in a big cough, but I wasn’t. My head was feeling heavy, like if I had terrible sinus congestion, but I didn’t. There was pressure and pain in my lower back that wouldn’t go away and an annoying, dry cough. What is happening to me? I asked myself. There was no way I caught Coronavirus; I’m too careful.
Maybe it’s just a cold or a sinus infection. Perhaps I just did too many things this week, and I’m feeling the effects of being busy. Positive for COVID-19? No way.
After I was able to gather my thoughts, I asked the doctor, “What comes next?” Quickly, she told me I had to be quarantined for a minimum of 14 days and to try to separate myself from my family within my own house. With seven-year-old twins, that’s hard. They were begging for a hug already.
Now, it’s been five days of no contact. They want me to take them for walks, they want to cuddle on the couch while we watch movies. I can’t do any of that with them, and it’s heart-wrenching not to be able to get close.
I’ve quarantined myself in the master bedroom—it helps that their rooms are on the opposite side of the house. It gives me a little peace of mind. They’ve been watching TV, playing video games, and asking me every five minutes, “Mom, are you good?”
I’m so grateful for the kids that God gave me. He sent me little warriors that go through all my battles with me. They’re supportive, attentive, and they know how to follow directions. They’re resilient boys, but they’re scared—so scared that their mom has tested positive for COVID-19.
“Mom, do you have to go to the hospital?”
“Mom, what do we do if you feel really bad?”
“Mom, who do we call if you have pain?”
“Mom, what do we do if you die?”
That last one really got me.
I’ve been lucky up to this point not to have any severe symptoms. I’m still able to get up and cook for the boys, to clean and disinfect my house, and to talk without running out of breath. I hope to continue this way as the days go by. Well, I’m hoping I will be able to get complete health back soon.
It’s so nerve-racking to be in this situation; all my plans and ideas have come to a screeching halt. Everything in my future is in a sort of “pending” status. Last week, I was planning a vacation for next year, and today I’m just hoping to make it to Mother’s Day.
All the news articles, death counts, and Instagram posts of people calling it fake—saying it doesn’t exist—ran through my mind.
I feel as though I’ve been tossed into the middle of the Atlantic. I’m trying to swim through deep, dark waters while carrying my children on my back. I don’t want to drown.
I’m scared, but I have to keep moving.
We know so little about how to handle Coronavirus after we get it. The doctors themselves told me, “If you have it, there’s nothing we can do. It’s your body against the virus. Stay hydrated.”
My head hasn’t stopped spinning. I’m worried. I’m a single mom with two beautiful children who need me. I must get out of this as soon as possible!
I can’t cry about it; the boys need me to be stronger than ever. I can’t complain about it. I have to stay positive and push through it. It’s nothing like any sickness I’ve experienced before. It’s weird. I will think I feel better, and then another wave of virus symptoms will hit again.
I keep reminding myself to sit down or lie down—ride the wave and let it do its thing.
I look forward to telling the rest of my experience once it’s over. I’m going to make it through this!
Count your blessings, my friends. Keep your family healthy and stay strong while being stuck at home!
Trust me when I say you’d rather be bored at home than battling with an invisible monster. Trust that we will all get through it together, and be patient! For me, for you, for all of us.