There has never been a more emotionally charged time in recent history than right now.
This year has haunted us with a global pandemic, racial tensions, civil unrest, and financial instability. And with forced quarantines, many of us have lots of free time to worry about the future.
Women are especially seeking guidance on managing their households, staying healthy, and being in a positive space when this is all over.
What would it feel like to slow down and enjoy this moment? Yes—this moment we never could have imagined even six months ago. To view quarantine as a time to get more deeply connected with yourself and others?
What if I told you that there’s a powerful tool that can help women achieve this? It’s called feminine energy.
Embracing this internal energy is the ultimate act of self-care, allowing us to lean back slightly and handle these uncertain times with a bit more resiliency. It can also improve relationships with friends, family, and colleagues.
What is feminine energy?
Feminine energy is soft, moving, receptive, and “being” energy, typically associated with women. When we are in tune with our feminine, we allow experiences and people to flow to us. Having feminine energy doesn’t mean we are doormats, or that we have no standards, or that we accept everything that comes our way. It just means that we allow experiences to come to us rather than being in active pursuit.
Contrast that with masculine energy, which is problem-solving, active, giving, and “doing” energy, typically associated with men. When we are in tune with our masculine, we make things happen, provide, and lead. Masculine energy doesn’t mean we don’t have feelings or take breaks. It just means that we actively do tasks to achieve our goals.
Some people find it helpful to think of it in terms of biology. Sperm compete to get to the egg, which sits and waits. So even from an evolutionary standpoint, the male gives and the female receives. Men and women have both energies, but there is a school of thought that people are more at ease when they rely on their natural energy sources.
You may think that you have feminine energy simply because you are a woman, but this is not the case. We live in a male-dominated society. A natural result is that intrinsically masculine qualities are revered and inherently feminine qualities are not. So, many women have grown up thinking that the only way to get ahead is to diminish their natural femininity and act in a more masculine manner.
Some women also feel that they are feminine enough in their outward appearance and that’s all it takes. But feminine energy is much more than that. It is a way of thinking, being, and flowing. You can be extremely feminine on the outside, yet still possess an abundance of masculine energy.
How energy shows up in our lives
Women tap into their masculine energy to succeed academically. We need a high degree of it to prosper in our careers or entrepreneurial pursuits. And contrary to popular belief, mothering requires a great deal of masculine energy to manage schedules, oversee homework, and ensure children’s safety. As you can see, some masculine energy is helpful and necessary for women.
However, sometimes we don’t know when and how to give up control. We may feel the need to detail each rule our partners must follow. We perform the emotional labor of our home, which often leaves us feeling empty. And many women take on the work of initiating, defining, and saving their romantic relationships. These are all examples of harmful masculine energy for women.
If doing too much at home was a problem pre-quarantine, it can have disastrous consequences during this extended downtime, when we are spending more time at home than ever.
Use your inner resources
In her seminal work on grief, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross provided advice when living in times of anxiety and fear. She suggested it is “essential that you become aware of the light, power, and strength within each of you, and that you learn to use those inner resources in service of your own and others’ growth.”
For women to bloom during quarantine, we must start believing that intrinsically feminine qualities are healthy, positive, and helpful. Many of us are grieving the loss of normalcy, trying to fix stalled careers, and dealing with canceled vacations. Some of us may be mourning a loved one’s death, whether related to COVID-19 or not.
While both men and women can benefit from feminine energy, it’s particularly useful for women during this stressful time. A woman embracing her feminine energy can genuinely be resilient no matter what is happening. So if you’ve been feeling like an overworked Energizer Bunny during quarantine, why not try engaging your feminine energy?
How to embrace feminine energy
You’re probably thinking, “This sounds great in theory, but how do I tap into my feminine energy during such a tumultuous time?” Here are seven tips to help you get started:
1. Lean back. Take a break from being the “Virus Vixen” for your family and friends. You need to keep yourself and your children safe. But it’s not your job to inform every person you know of Dr. Fauci’s latest guidance or tell your husband precisely how to act when he leaves the house.
2. Be receptive. If your partner wants to take the kids for a drive while you rest or if he offers to get groceries once a week, let him. Learn the life-saving magic of receiving. You can use the free time to relax, pray, meditate, dance, take a bubble bath, or do nothing at all.
3. Learn acceptance. Part of embracing feminine energy is graceful acceptance. We do not know when this pandemic will be over, if we are heading into an economic depression, or how exactly to solve racial inequity. Stay informed, but let go of incessantly worrying about these things 24/7. Accept the uncertainty.
4. Let it go. Your house does not have to be #instaperfect every day. We are all spending more hours at home than we ever were before. With that comes a lot of mess, especially if there are little ones around. While I believe that clean spaces promote mental clarity, sometimes the need to be so ordered becomes a separate issue. Don’t worry if every Lego piece is not put away, or all the laundry is not folded. Let it go for another day; everyone will live, including you.
5. Practice self-love. If your best friend/mother/ daughter/dear aunt was in a tailspin about life right now, what would you tell her? Assuming your advice is not agreeing that the world is coming to an abrupt end, practice saying the loving things that would help them—then say it to yourself.
6. Be creative. Use this time to engage in some creative hobbies, especially if you’ve put it off in the past due to not having enough time. Creativity promotes feminine energy by forcing you to slow down and enjoy the process.
7. Keep the faith. Whether you believe in God, the universe, or your ancestors, try to connect with that power daily. We often focus on the negative and neglect to hand over our worries to these divine sources.
Author Cara Alwill Leyba wrote, “Every time you’re tempted to obsess, control, or manipulate a situation, try a simple mantra instead. ‘I now trust that all things are being divinely orchestrated in my favor. I have faith that all things are working out for my highest good.’ Faith over fear just feels better.” To me, this is quintessential feminine energy.
It takes time to form a new habit. Consciously tap into this energy every day. You will be amazed at how refreshing the light, power, and strength of feminine energy feels.
Use this moment in our collective history to embrace a new mindset and not just survive quarantine—but emerge victoriously from it.