September 7, 2020

A Letter to My Future Love.

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During long weekends and holidays, I settle into home and writing, landing softly, as I like to say, into that sweet place I love—“dreaming of love.”

I’m a not-so-hopeless romantic with my feet planted sometimes on the ground.

This weekend is no different. I settle in with snuggles with my cat, and come home again.

This home is my creative space—a place with no distractions, and the sweetness of an unscheduled and open day to become open to creative flow.

Today I reflect on love and write to my future love.

Many have written such letters to their future lovers; this is not a new concept.

When writing, one reflects on the past and the lessons learned from past relationships, as well as the lessons learned while living alone. One contemplates on love, and relationships, and a deeper knowing of oneself.

This is my letter written from the very depth of my heart.

Dearest Lover,

I cannot promise to remember birthdays or anniversary dates; I barely remember my own birthday. This does not mean that I do not value these dates, nor the importance or celebrations.

I cannot keep you on task or schedule; I’m a free-spirited soul. My day timer is only for work. I have time that is my own.

I will go with the flow and have many dates solo, followed by discussions in the tub.

You may wonder why I have a cell phone, as I’m hard to reach or on “airplane mode.” 

I’m easygoing, yet sensitive—this you will learn. Sometimes, this may seem like a crazy contradiction.

I can promise you I will learn early how you take your coffee. If you love me, darling, you will know how seriously I take coffee.

I will recall your every word, story, and all that you utter. I will never forget all of your preferences and idiosyncrasies.

I will make you late, messy, and frustrated at times. You may tire of me losing keys, wallets, and my phone.

Future lover, I can guarantee you that I will have conversations half in my head and the other with you. I will finish your sentences before they are said, and this may leave you, at times, scratching your head.

Darling, one day when I am close to you, I will know you deeply. This can be a scary thing for some. You, on the other hand, will come to know me slowly, over time and years.

You may become frustrated and think that I’m not listening, for at times I am writing in my head, but darling, you will be the main attraction.

Darling, you will always be the main attraction, for I love deeply and with devotion.

I can promise you that I will memorize the constellations of our love.

I will come to know every line and beauty mark that is you.

I will write while you sleep, and there will be books in the bed that you will need to remove like others remove pillows.

I will wait for you to fall asleep and meditate on your breathing. I will meditate on our love.

Darling, I will pray for you as long as the sun rises and sets.

As long as I breathe, darling, I will pray.

I will never forget how you like your eggs or how you part your hair.

I will come to know the scent of you, and how you fold and press your clothes, yet I will never be able to duplicate it, and you will give up on a messy bed.

My poetry will be offered with your morning coffee. You might hear stories that I write, for I talk in my sleep.

I crave creative space. I need this daily, and I may wake early or stay up late to get it.

I will tell you what I need with open honesty, and ask the same in return.

I will never ask you to do things.

I’ve become independent in every domain. You may feel like there is no space for you.

I will try to let go and allow you to do things. I will appreciate everything you do. This I do promise.

Future love, I promise to say your name with sweetness.

I will write your name in the sand and in the snow.

I will be tender and true and always see the best in you. This I can promise.

I have become fiercely independent and strong, and don’t need a man. I want a man who can be open, honest, and true.

Dearest love, I hope that my love finds you.


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