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September 11, 2020

Drop Your Armour: True Intimacy & Vulnerability Start with Us.

 

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Vulnerability is not a place of weakness.

It is a place of immense inner depth.

It is a place where immense inner shifts and processes of transformation occur.

It is a place of deep openness and transparency with yourself and perhaps with another.

It is a place of immense sacredness that needs to be appreciated as such, and with utter respect.

Vulnerability is the wound cracked wide open so the light can enter you.

It is the place of not escaping, but of entering deeply into your aching heart, your hurting bones, your many headaches, and the rivers of tears in between.

It is a place of natural humility.

A corner of your inner self where your soul speaks the loudest.

In that place, you allow all feelings, aches, hurts, disappointments, and pains to be as they are for a while…as they find their way naturally out of the dark and into the light.

That’s the corner of your Spirit where your inner child lives—sometimes quietly crying, at times throwing tantrums to get your attention and love.

Vulnerability is something you feel penetrating your skin, cells, heart, and energy field on a cellular level.

At this place, you cease to ask questions. You just accept the moment and what it brings as it is.

In the arms of vulnerability you feel your core in its rawest and purest form.

It’s where your genuine light starts shining through naturally, without you doing or attempting to do anything.

Vulnerability is like making love to your own Spirit for the first time and having a real, raw, authentic taste of it and all it’s forms.

Vulnerability is also the place of deep clarity that comes on its own, unpolluted by thoughts or patterns of thinking and doing things.

That’s your soul’s way of making you drop your armour and your masks to see yourself in your nude form—your complete humanness.

We live in a world that thinks that vulnerability and feeling our hearts crack wide open is weakness and that others may take advantage of that.

That’s bullsh*t. I’ve been fed this bullsh*t since I was a child.

Vulnerability is my gift and I am just beginning to see this as true—away from the fucked up lenses that others put in front of my eyes that made me see the world and myself through perspectives that did not fit me and were never mine.

Vulnerability is strength at its purest and rawest form, and it can transform your entire being and life if allowed completely, without holding back.

I have always pushed away my own vulnerability.

If there is anything that makes me completely vulnerable, that is love and the power of touch. How someone touches my mind, my heart, or my skin.

This is my most vulnerable place within—a place I tried to repress, hide, and push away, believing it was dangerous, because it made me feel “unstable,” “weak,” and scared, and because it brought pain on the surface, and an ocean of blue transparent tears.

Getting to know this place within is what intimacy with self is all about.

Awakening to our own vulnerability and vulnerable heart is the beginning of a real self-love process that acknowledges our depths, our rawest forms of our spirit.

I used to look for intimacy in all the wrong places, not knowing it starts within me.

Without me being intimate with my being, intimacy with another is impossible.

I wanted intimacy with a man without having it first with myself.

And now I am diving deeper into it.

Its waves can be huge sometimes, and when it feels like I’ll drown, the waves fall down and keep me up floating upon them.

I just allow the current to guide me without holding or grabbing onto anything—because I am not as scared as before.

~

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