February 3, 2021

8 Things Mums Hate about their Bodies that are Totally Normal.


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Sometimes I like to imagine myself as a superhero, just bursting into a room of unexpecting mums and shouting “Female nipple hair is normal, now love yourselves!” before leaving the room in a puff of rainbow smoke. They would call me the “Anti-Shame Dame.” Someday… someday…

For now, I want to talk to you about things that are totally normal about your beautiful bod. It doesn’t matter who you are—I’m certain that you have at least a few of the things on this list. I’m here to tell you that they’re all completely normal, nothing to be ashamed of, and you don’t need to try and change these things. (Also, let’s normalise these for your daughter if you have one.)

Let’s go!

1. Cellulite

Did you know that 85 to 98 percent of women have cellulite? So, basically, nearly all women. It really should be considered a standard feature of a female body, just in the same way as breasts and wide hips. There are lots of products out there claiming to get rid of cellulite, but the truth is that it’s totally normal.

Actually, the whole concept of cellulite being a thing that needs to be fixed was created by a French dude who wanted to sell his product to women (I’m not even going to name him because he doesn’t deserve to have us all learn his name but feel free to google it if you wish). Anyway, just go to a beach and look around. Most female bodies have it, even slim bodies. So, give yourself a break and don’t worry—your cellulite is normal.

2. Body hair

Everyone has body hair. It’s there for a reason. If Frida Kahlo can pull off a monobrow, then you can pull off your body hair. The only reason we feel the need to remove our body hair is because the razor companies did some clever advertising back in the day.

Also, FYI, women have facial and nipple hair too (it’s not a big deal). Sometimes it’s light and sometimes it’s dark. It’s okay if you have body hair, and if you are with someone who loves you then they won’t care either. They might even like it.

3. Acne

One of the great lies we were told as teens was that our skin would clear up after puberty. Lie! I actually think that my skin was better when I was a teen than it is now. Anyway, acne and a few pimples are totally normal. I cannot think of anyone I know who doesn’t get blemishes. But having severe acne can be confidence-knocking for some, but just remember, you can’t see everyone’s acne. Maybe the person sitting beside you on the bus has a clear face but acne on their bum…you just never know.

4. Stretch marks

I love stretch marks. To me, they represent growth and change. Most people get their first stretch marks in their teens. I got them on my hips, thighs, and boobs. I had loads of red lines on my body but eventually, they faded to silver lines. I think that I even have one on the back of my knee.

Anyway, stretch marks are totally normal and do not need to be erased with lotions and potions (also, those expensive potions don’t work). And as a mama, you’ve earned those sexy stripes. Rawr!

5. Belly Rolls

Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’…belly roles are totes mcgoats normal too. There’s nobody out there in the whole world who doesn’t have a belly roll when they sit down. Like…your body needs to form a roll…otherwise you wouldn’t be able to sit down. All rolls are normal and beautiful. Also, just going to say it, back rolls are normal too, especially if you wear a bra.

6. Scars

I know that a lot of people can struggle with their scars, especially if they’re quite visible, but again, they are super normal. Everyone has a scar, even if it is just a tiny little thing. I personally find scars quite cool; they show something that you have overcome. I have several scars, but my favourite is a small scar on my thumb from when I cut myself with a wallpaper scraper (I may have lost blood, but damn did that wall look good).

7. Sweat

I can be a seriously sweaty Betty at times. When I feel really stressed out, I usually sweat a lot under just my left armpit—so weird. But sweating is normal, our bodies need it to cool down. Yeah, a sweaty armpit patch on your T-shirt is maybe not your favourite look but at the same time, who cares? You’re a busy mama with sh*t to do, sweat, baby sweat!

8. Chub Rub

Ugh, chub rub is the bane of my life. I wear shorts whenever I wear a dress. Sometimes, I even get chub rub when wearing certain trousers. And I’m constantly creating holes in all my trousers. But what can I do? My thighs won’t quit. It’s always been this way, even when I was at my slimmest. It just depends on the positioning of your hips. I also know a lot of men who get it too.

My advice—get yourself some comfy cotton shorts. Maybe even get a few funky coloured ones that will look cool under your dresses. Work it!

There are loads of other things that are normal too, but the list needs to end somewhere. Just remember, your body is going to do what your body is going to do and that’s cool because it’s normal.


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