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May 11, 2021

Dear Future Wife: What I can Promise When I Meet You.

So I wrote this almost a year ago and found it in the archives. But it’s pretty powerful, so I thought I’d share it.

Dear future wife,

I hope you’re ready for me to find you. I don’t know your name, and I don’t know what you look like quite yet, but when I find you, everything inside of me is going to just know.

Loving you will be effortless, being vulnerable with you won’t give me anxiety, and it will be as natural to me as the breath that my lungs take in to keep my body alive. Being with you will make me feel alive too—in ways that I haven’t yet experienced.

You see, I thought I knew love, but I don’t actually know a damn thing about what it’s like to be truly in love. I know what it’s like to care and kind of being cared for, but that love that you see in Hollywood fiction? Nah. I have no idea.

But when I find you, I’m going to know.

Dear future wife, I don’t know what your past looks like. I definitely don’t know what your present looks like, but I can promise you that your future is going to be better than you have imagined. It’s going to be more than you think you deserve, but I’m here to tell you that everything I am to you still isn’t enough to give you what you deserve.

That’s an unattainable goal because regardless of what you’ve been through, what you’re going through, or what you will go through in the future, there’s nothing I can do, say, or give you that will ever be able to reach the level of true appreciation, gratitude, and love that I know you deserve. But I will try every day of my life to be the man you deserve—because you’re going to do the same for me.

I’ve grown tired of trying to love people enough or give them enough or do enough for them to be “loved” in the way that I’ve “loved” all of these years. But you make it seem so easy. You make it seem like it’s something you’ve trained your whole life for.

You make all of the heartache, rejection, and tears of my past worth it. More than that? I’d go through it all again 100 times just to be with you right now in this season of life. Because you’re worth it. I’m worth it. We’re worth it.

Dear future wife, you might not be used to a loyal man, but I can promise you with every fiber of my being that I will be loyal to you until I take my last breath. Because when I find you, there’s not going to be another soul in this world who could ever take my eyes off of the joy of being able to call you my wife.

Nobody else in this life means to me what you mean to me. And it won’t be hard. You want to know why? Because when love is truly unconditional, being unfaithful isn’t an option, nor a desire.

It hasn’t always been that way for me, but when key elements of love are missing in a romantic dynamic, it’s easy to let yourself wander a bit looking for the missing pieces. But with you, there are none.

Sure, we have our disagreements and our own brand of problems, but I love you enough to work through them together. Team work makes the dream work, and this dream I’m living with you, though sometimes surreal, is worth all of the effort it takes to rip my chest apart and show you even the darkest sides of me. Because you aren’t scared of them.

You reach into my chest and hold them like the most delicate fabric, and you help me to mend them. In return, I promise to do the same for you. It’s impossible for us to be able to completely heal all of the hurts and disappointments of our lives before we had each other. That’s an unrealistic expectation.

But I promise you that I’ll be here to protect you and keep your heart safe. You’ve likely been promised that before, too, and had your world shattered as I’ve had mine. But this is different, and we both know it.

Dear future wife, I can’t wait to meet you. I can’t wait to see your smile when you see me, and I can’t wait to look through your eyes into your soul and feel the love we share, and cover and protect every vulnerable and insecure thought inside of me.

I will let you in. I have to. I want you to know my weakest points so that you know how to care for them the right way. I want you to know that you can trust me enough to show me yours and receive that same protection in return. Isn’t that what a king does for his queen? Protect her at all costs?

Dear future wife, I won’t control you. I don’t want to take over your life and dictate what you do, where you go, who you see, or how you feel. I simply want to love you, protect you, and know 100 percent beyond the shadow of a doubt that you belong to me without being my possession. I want you to keep your autonomy, and I want you to allow me to keep mine, but entangle with me in the middle in ways that keep us inseparable.

Dear future wife, I know you’re out there.

Wait for me. I’m on my way.

~

 

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