May 15, 2021

I Can Love you Once I’ve Learned to Love Myself.

I seek in someone else’s eyes, the love I don’t give to myself.

I seek to help others feel successful because I lack my own. I have given up on my life, my goals, my dreams, my one true love.

I simply have given up on myself.

Between all of my online groups, my friends, my love, and my family, I have totally exploded into a million tiny pieces. And that is as much as I can give to them. I don’t want to give from a broken spirit.

As I pull myself together, there is so much more to see. I can give fully—share my love in abundance, give my hand, my support—but first, I must stand up.

How are we supposed to excel while devoting our life, time, and attention to a million things all at once?

Yes, this is the life I have chosen. I am not sure if I know a different way to live: to do better, to be better, to have more—simply exhausting. If I don’t want more, and if I am the best I can be, well, now what?

Sitting down on the floor, legs and arms crossed and breathing deeply, I am giving up. Giving up on the way I live this life. So now what? Now I have the space to question, what is it really that I want from life?

How can we live for ourselves when all around us there are so many brothers and sisters who need us. Mother Earth is counting on us. I want my voice to be of service.

I want to scream it is okay to give up on our current way of thinking, but it is not okay to give up on walking forward—on finding new ways of growing our capacity to love, our capacity to give, to share, and expand.

Our existence is a light, with a switch included, unable to be turned off.

Expanding means prioritizing our lives and our health. Go, sword-in-hand, slaying the obstacles that are here to teach us. Building ourselves up is the first step to being there for others, and I can give you strength if I am strong.

I can love you once I’ve learned how to love myself. I can accept you if I accept myself. I can laugh with you because I can laugh at myself—I can see the bigger picture of life.

We don’t need to have all the answers. Right now, are we loving? Are we walking toward the places we truly want to go? We all have value to add, and no one can love as you love. No one can talk about your experiences the way you can.

I give up on perfection. Caresses are meant to be given. My hand is here to lift you up.

If I fall down, I will hold your hand tight, and together and we will climb to the top.

Falling down is not a weakness. I’d rather fall and start over, than standstill on things I don’t believe in—values that don’t make any sense to me.

Together let’s rise up strong and build our community one step at a time. Let’s create the kind of world we want to be part of.

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